金曜日, 4月 30, 2004

3 funni things happened today

1
was sent home by my tuition kid's mum by car
the kid was in the car as well
she told the mum she wanted to hear the song 《黑眼圈》
i was like huh? wat a name haa
when the song started i recog it ...
was 小刚's 黄昏
haha she called it dark eye rings coz the song goes

唱不完一首歌 疲倦还剩下黑眼圈
感情的世界伤害在所难免
黄昏再美终要黑夜

haha wat a apt title given by a pri 3 kid though

always tot the 小刚 = 周传雄 person is this oldie tt come out again to cheat younsters whu go crazy over him with this ahem hip image
i guess i was bias
the song's realli quite nice words r not too bad as well n it's realli veri catchy can cater to wide range of age gp i tink
n i always tot onli pple like my da ge whu was a fan when he was in sec sch to buy his cassette tape whu support him n by his album
i became the consumer n bought it for my bro though
hmph
haa shud re-listen the album

2
aft my serangoon tuition it rained cats n dogs..
pardon the idom/proverb
looking at kids writing 'the brillant rays of the morning sun shone thru my bed rm window...'
creative writing
aniwae heavy rain so BIG until my jeans was wet frm toe to waist?
haha then i went on 27 n guess wat
tot i was safe n shelltered liao
but the bus was raining inside haha
i didnt noe y but to mi
the sight was hiliarious
heavy rain outside then this ventilation/air con thing on top of the bus was drippping rather badly with H2O
like u evil then onli got one cumulonimbus cloud above ur head raining on ya haha
i'm not evil
when i was having my bayshore tuiiton
lightning light up the sky pink
scary
damn heavy
tink ani evil person(s) walking along the rd might get strike my lightning
i was quite certain i wont b :)

3
bayshore security guardhouse
mus give them ur ic sumtimes if u r visitor
depending on the guard too
today's guard was rather shocked when i took out my pink ic,..
he tot i was frm CHINA
hmmmmmmm
do i look like a china girl
i'm chinese la but??
haha
when i gave him the
aha O_O" look
he told mi i was pretty nontheless
ERM @__@ "l

3 amusing happenings today

火曜日, 4月 27, 2004

i accepted scholarship frm ocbc bank liao :) ? :( ? :/ O_o"
relieved la

金曜日, 4月 23, 2004

went bk to jingshan pri sch todae...
saw ms bala then lin lao shi n mr swarna
a rather successful gathering i shud say.. 9/37 tt's almost a quarter...
the pri sch gathering organiser.. i'm still good la haha

liling liteng meirong izzati karthik shengkui xiangyun + me
liling ar still the same la haha
took theater studies in vj going to do psychology...

liteng future mata woman...
can so imagine
haha

meirong i say she look abit like drug addict.
then she wa lau mi
he ultra straight shoulder length finally changed abit
more funki shape n highlights haha
didnt tok to her much
but looking at her
still believe that she can b my pai zui friend haha

izzati relief malay teacher still da same
felt abit aiyah tt didnt kept close contact with her even when she was the onli one whu went rgs with mi...
but still calm steady same pattern la

karthik liling say he look like contractor
i tink he look like some middle edge man with tt moustache
but he can ride motorbike liao n he promise to give mi a ride hah
mi still hafnt ride on motorbike b4....
he shud stop smoking though...
if i get into med
guess i can treat him if he gets lung c*****
choi touch wood la
but aiyah
my longest knowing fren frm pri sch
same class frm pri 1 to 6 la
buddy la

shengkui say he used to haf shoulder length long hair..
hah cant imagine
but jus shaved his head
so still da same la
study interior design
wow didnt know tt they have to study philosophy of like different philosophers to understand their concepts n themes for designing
rather cool
didnt know tt puma n addidas used to be 'brothers'
haha
the rather short guy whu always sits at the front row when we take class photo with thre younger siblings
always rem tt he told us he jus bought some junk food to celebrate his own bdae when we were younger n hafta tend to his parents' fruit stall at the market

lifang still da same la
look n sound the same
brillant in maths
going to b engineer

then xiangyun didnt get to meet the rest but haha went to watch 50first dates with her n liteng
best fren in pri sch :)

jus met this 8 pple
talked abt wat we doing wat we did wat we r going to do
these r the pple i haf known for like abt 10yrs...
wow
but guess we like went different ways la
the jc pple n poly pple tt's wat some of them say la
abit la
but still veri happi to see them la
haha tok alot of rubbish oso
got to know wat they r up to nowadays
how they haf been
hear them tok feels like no matter how different we r now underneath we r still kinda the same
still feel more or less like how i knew them when we were 9 haha
those pple tt wont scheme at u
those pple tt feels comfortable n familiar to hang ard
toking abt the good old days
class soccer
the sitting arrangement
how even the school uniform changed n the old builing demolished
tink the uniform now abit ugly ours still nicer i tink
then the large field tt we used to play rounders watch guys play soccer n run ard make shoes muddy in
where i used to catch grasshoppers but kena tramatized when my teacher threw them away
can rem the stairs n stuff
but the pple there still the same haa
the teachers the stall holders the bus driver uncle rama
wow
the place where the caterpillar dropped on xiangyun n mi meirong go dig earthworm during sci class n sway them to scare other girls haha

sigh
so long ago la
then the guys all taller than mi now sigh
but i guess as we grow old things change la
glad still haf these pple tt share some part of my past with mi

mr swarna
still looking the same
the teacher frm ri tt told mi tt rgs was good
so i went
another place tt i guess accumulate up to mould mi la

the days when i was some gangster girl tt fight with classmates behind the canteen
but still the smartie kid tt teachers love haha
rather happening days
happi childhood

the pple tt i dint get to meet today
heard abit abt them
wonder how they r getting along but guess everione doing fine la
hafta wat....
some how figure up where they going
at the pt in life where i gotta thing of where i going n wat i wan to do...
tinking abt the past comfort mi abit la
feel abit old looking at the kids
but still feel comforted like i'm still mi last time
getting all nostalgic haha
how much i haf changed huh
how much i haf learnt more importantly

well
an enjoyable day catching up with pri sch frens n teacher

火曜日, 4月 20, 2004

ANGRY! ANGRY! ANGRY!
earlier this morning
woke up realising tt it's morn liao n i missed the korean show tt i've been waiting for since last wed.
Damn
wow i was like ultra pissed n barked at pple
there's this deja vu
like when i was still in sch, falling asleep when i wan to study/do my hw
it happens almost everidae and i'll wake up at 6am the next dae with my bag as it was the dae b4
this feeling irritates mi alot
no wonder last time my results so sai
my slack life for the past 5mth almost allowed myself to forget abt it.
and it came bk
in torrents
i hate this kinda thing
missing the show is nothing TOO BIG
but it;s the 'i've many things to do, i've time but my things jus dont get done' syndrome
abd i dread going to my work
boring n the travelling.
i left home at 8.30 and i reached home onli at abt 9.30
am... pm
13hrs outside jus to earn the almost 100bucks
think of the $ think of the $ wth
then all the kids hafing the mid yr on da same wk
10/5 tt wk
stress
n like happinesss my hsa 2nd interview on tt day
i go cancel sure kena blackface/scolded my the mama die
dunnoe they stress or i stress
skarli they dont do well how????
sigh

waiting waiting waiting
@ specialist clinic B orthopedics
an appointment aft 4 mts
the broken arm haha
hope to put the whole episode behind
all the shit you've to go thru aft tt
taking 1 hr to bathe
cant wear clothes myself
physio tt hurts damn alot to straighten the freaking bent 90o arm
the arm more or less the same as it used to b
almost forgot how incovenenient it used to b
almost
the funni bent bone will be ard to remind mi for a long time to come
and the suan-ness i feel when i try to do push up during kick box
reminded of it the first thing i woke up this moren

whining wth

glad tt iit's all over la
hope tt i never hafta be a patient again

wait:1.5hr
consultation:0.5hr
cost $20
:S

(11am)

水曜日, 4月 14, 2004

土曜日, 4月 03, 2004

我的家在一個偏僻的山村,父母都是面朝黃土背朝天的農民。

我有一個小我三歲的弟弟。
有一次我為了買女孩子們都有的花手絹,
偷偷拿了父親抽屜裏5毛錢。

父親當天就發現錢少了,
就讓我們跪在牆邊,拿著一根竹竿,
讓我們承認到底是誰偷的。


我被當時的情景嚇傻了,低著頭不敢說話。
父親見我們都不承認,說那兩個一起挨打。


說完就揚起手裏的竹竿,
忽然弟弟抓住父親的手大聲說:『爸,是我偷的,不是姐幹的!』

你打我吧!
父親手裏的竹竿無情地落在弟弟的背上、肩上,
父親氣得喘不過氣來

打完了坐在炕上
罵道:『你現在就知道偷家裏的,將來長大了還了得?我打死你這個不爭氣的。』

當天晚上,我和母親摟著滿身是傷痕的弟弟,弟弟一滴眼淚都沒掉。

半夜裏, 我突然號啕大哭,
弟弟用小手捂住我的嘴說:『,姐,你別哭,反正我也挨完打了。』


我一直在恨自己當時沒有勇氣承認,
事過多年,弟弟替了我擋竹竿的樣子 ,我仍然記憶猶新。

那一年,弟弟8歲,我11歲。

弟弟中學畢業那年,考上了縣裏的重點高中。
同時我也接到了省城大學的錄取通知書。

那天晚上,父親蹲在院子裏一袋一袋地抽著旱煙,
嘴裏還叨咕著,倆娃都這麼爭氣,真爭氣。

母親偷偷地抹著眼淚說爭氣有啥用啊,拿啥供啊?
弟弟走到父親面前說:『爸,我不想念了,反正也念夠了。』
父親一巴掌打在弟弟的臉上,說:『你怎就這麼沒出息?』

我就是砸鍋賣鐵也要把你們姐倆供出來。說完轉身出去挨家借錢。
我撫摸著弟弟紅腫的臉說:『你得念下去,男娃不念書就一輩子走不出這窮山溝了。』弟弟看著我,點點頭。

當時我已經決定放棄上學的機會了。 |

沒想到第二天天還沒亮,弟弟就偷偷帶著幾件破衣服和幾個乾巴饅頭走了

在我枕邊留下一個紙條:姐,你別愁了,考上大學不容易,我出去打工供你。弟。

我握著那張字條,趴在炕上,失聲痛哭。那一年,弟弟17歲,我20歲。

我用父親滿村子借的錢和弟弟在工地裏搬水泥掙的錢終於讀到了大三。

一天我正在寢室裏看書,同學跑進來喊我,梅子,有個老鄉在找你。
怎麼會有老鄉找我呢?

我走出去,遠遠地看見弟弟,穿著滿身是水泥和沙子的工作服等我。
我說,你怎和我同 學說你是我老鄉啊?

他笑著說,你看我穿的這樣,說是你弟,你同學還不笑話你? |

我鼻子一酸,眼淚就落了下來。
我給弟弟拍打身上的塵土,哽咽著說:『你本來就是我弟,這輩子不管穿成啥樣,我都不怕別人笑話!』


他從兜裏小心翼翼地掏出一個用手絹包著的蝴蝶髮夾,
在我頭上比量著, 說我看城裏的姑娘都戴這個,就給你也買一個。
我再也沒有忍住,在大街上就抱著弟弟哭起來。

那一年,弟弟20歲,我23歲。

我第一次領男朋友回家,看到家裏掉了多少年的玻璃安上了,
屋子裏也收拾得一塵不染。男朋友走了以後我向母親撒嬌,
我說:『媽,咋把家收拾得這麼乾淨啊?』


母親老了,笑起來臉上像一朵菊花,說:『這是你弟提早回來收拾的,你看他手上的口子 沒?是安玻璃時劃的。』

我進弟弟的小屋裏,看到弟弟日漸消瘦的臉,心裏很難過。
他還是笑著說,:『你第一次帶朋友回家,還是城裏的大學生,不能讓人家笑話咱家。』

我給他的傷口上藥, 問他,疼不?他說,不疼。

我在工地上,石頭把腳砸得腫得穿不了鞋,還幹活兒呢……

說到一半就把嘴閉上不說了。

我把臉轉過去,哭了出來。那一年,弟弟23歲,我26歲。

我結婚以後,住在城裏,幾次和丈夫要把父母接來一起住,他們都不肯,
說離開那村子就不知道幹啥了。
弟弟也不同意,說姐:『你就全心照顧姐夫的爸媽吧!』

咱爸媽有我呢。

丈夫升上廠裏的廠長,我和他商量把弟弟調上來管理修理部,
沒想到弟弟不肯, 執意做了一個修理工。


一次弟弟登梯子修理電線,讓電擊了住進醫院。
我和丈夫去看他。我撫著他打著石膏的腿埋怨他,
早讓你當幹部你不幹,現在,摔成這樣,要是不當工人能讓你去幹那活兒嗎?

他一臉嚴肅地說,你怎不替我姐夫著想著想呢?
他剛上來,我又沒文化,直接就當官,給他造成啥影響啊?
丈夫感動得熱淚盈眶,我也哭著說,弟啊,你沒文化都是姐給你耽誤了。

他拉過我的手說,都過去了,還提它幹啥?那一年,弟弟26歲,我29歲 。

弟弟30歲那年,才和一個本分的農村姑娘結了婚。
在婚禮上,主持人問他,
你最敬愛的人是誰,他想都沒想就回答:『我姐。』


弟弟講起了一個我都記不得的故事:
我剛上小學的時候,學校在鄰村,每天我和我姐都得走上一個小時才到家。
有一天,我的手套丟了一隻,我姐就把她的給我一隻,
她自己就戴一隻手套走了那?遠的路。
回家以後,我姐的那只手凍得都 拿不起筷子了。
從那時候,我就發誓我這輩子一定要對我姐好。

台下一片掌聲,賓客們都把目光轉向我。

我說,我這一輩子最感謝的人是我弟。在我最應該高興的時刻,

我卻止不住淚流滿面......

《什麼是愛》~email frm yimyee