well i actually heard this song over class 95 last nite and wanted to post it at 2am but my house actually suffered a blackout while i was trying to finish my case writeup.. i looked around for help but everyone's sleeping so the darkness kinda didnt bother them.. luckily i had a torch just in my drawer and manage to save my ass by flicking tt essential switch within the mains.. :)

this wk at CTVS.. well i've always been rather interested in the heart stuff.. and this week kinda demistifies cardiac surgeries to me.. altho i watched abit of 2 CABGs.. it was brought wat the books say to life.. how they do the sternotomy, how the saw the sternum w like an electic saw, how they harvest the LIMA and saphenous vein.. how they test the tiny holes tt were created in the veins n patch it up.. how to stitch the vessel to bypass the coronary artery.. well i only watched till tt part.. how they stitch up the sternum w wires etc etc

seeing a heart pumping right infront of your eyes.. that guy showed mi his heart, his true real heart.. i could see it pumping.. but i wonder where do emotions come from.. sayings such as follow you heart, listen to your heart.. is the heart physiologically related to emotions? i wonder.. or issit just another organ in human's anatomy that performs those functions we think we know of? i wanted to ask someone.. like a surgeon, this qn but didnt find the right time or the right feeling to discuss such stuff.. probably they'll find it a weird question right?

oh well.. in my wk i also kinda helped out to do discharge summaries and double up as the mysterious masked 1/2 student of the vascular team.. only appearing during ot behind the mask..

yea these are the stuff i did, and the grand ward rounds topic was self harm that was really interesting.. i think we can catergorize people who harm themselves into 2 kinds, those who want to die and those who dont. they inflict pain upon themselves because physical pain is so much more bearable than emotional pain. and they feel relieved after they harm themselves, be it cutting themselves or other stuff... kids also can respond in such a way manifesting as head-banging and biting themselves i think.. they cope w these behavioural changes.. the speaker's really q cool cause he writes articles regularly, analyzing paintings done by patients with psychiartic problems and getting a peek into their lives and their minds..

such thoughts might have crossed my mindsbefore.. i had had times when i wanted to inflict some pain.. but i dun noe where or how to.. i look at my hands and thought to myself that i should protect them to do procedures next time and i cant find a place to put those weird thoughts into action so i gave up. but oh well the speaker suggested the inner thigh is where these patients like to cut themselves because it's a private thing and they dont wan pple to see it.. hmm

recently i'm on these exhilarating roller coaster rides that i love so much.. it's rough.

oh n i got this eye infection now.. causing blurred vision and lotsa discomfort but i gotta finish my bit on the pharmaco presentation by my cg tonight! my eyes can barely open... mayb i should watch some brad pitt on youtube or something..

all in all 6wks of surgery's over n i think i had fun.. there's so much more to learn isnt it?
Dr C offered me a tutorial w him on CTVS in nov.. hope we ll make it come true.
Dr V is a nice russian man, who's really q cute and nice, but he has his moments too.. the first thing he spoke to me was, " do you want to be a heart surgeon?"
Dr A is a nice german lady, who has a heavy workload but i like her cause she taught me alot.. i sense her fustration when pple dont understand her cause she's a foreigner and she has a strong accent but she's nice.
Dr Z is a blangdashi man, who's the only doc so far that truely remembers my name.. for the whole week! he told me medical students will become doctors 3 times in their life
1) when they get into medical school
2) when they start their clinical postings
3) when they graduate..
haha he's the chest tube man, seriously!

the stimulation thingy was q exciting to me actually, altho our tutor only stayed with us 1/3 of the time.. but i get to play w stuff i only see on tv.. i defibrillated the dummy man.. w a real thing! somehow in my mind it didnt click tt the machine was real.. cause it's my first time touching it and i was kinda just exploring it.. it could have been dangerous.. intubation of a mummy, giving o2, giving meds, bloods etcetc
impt practical skills huh..
and seeing it done in OT today made it more meaningful as well :)

pharmaco pharmaco pharmaco..
have a good weekend..

ANNA NALICK LYRICS

"Breathe (2 AM)"
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

i feel quite refresh to wake up from my 3hour nap..
to look at the quiet TPE w the beautifully lit overhead bridge outside my window.
why do you always make the same mistake?

i didnt know that there was a whole japanese drama wound round this statue.. to think i've watched it many years ago but have no recollection even when i went to odaiba this year and saw this 自由の女神 right before my eyes.. haha and in the background there's the rainbow bridge...

week in plastics have been quite fun..
although we have not been appearing in front of the team alot but we got a chance to talk to other patients..
sending off huayu on wednesday night truely signifies the end of our summer isnt it?
and this year it was before we celebrated MAF..
friday's night call was quite fun..
oh well.. tomorrow will be another day.
p(^ ^)q

can i say that this is possibly the jay song that is closest to our hearts?
each time huayu is back.. we ll hear it somehow.. mornings of sleepovers where we wake up to your brother playing this song, tonight's drive back to your place..
we have got our favourite lines from the lyrics of this song right?
enjoy!
and thnx for the cd! :) i'll listen to it carefully and find my favourite song from the new album. :)
take care ar, peng yous

一

てるてる坊主 てる坊主

あした天気に しておくれ

いつかの夢の 空のよに 晴れたら

金の鈴あげよ

ニ

てるてる坊主 てる坊主

あした天気に しておくれ

私の願いを 聞いたなら

あまいお酒を たんと飲ましょ

三

てるてる坊主 てる坊主

あした天気に しておくれ

それでも曇って　泣いてたら

そなたの首を チョンと切るぞ

the ending of this song is abit violent but i like it

最近はいつも雨がふりますね。

体の外も心の中も

どうしようかな？

てるてる坊主を作るほうがいいかな~？

and this song.. somehow it reminds me of huayu.. :)

of course this is for felicia and serene

argh i cant stand it.. i'm starting to like youtube more! haa
imotoyo -
song: meguriai by chage and aska

this is for peiyun! AHHH ur fave actor leh! :)
oh my.. this is from so long ago, issit? wat a classic jap drama

i like this song! do they still play at Wala Wala.. i hafnt been there..

oh man they actually performed that on stage.. hahahaha

this is damn funny.. that ah fat ar.. cant believe we spoke to him that night when we went to watch World Cup.. and the most hilarious bit is ngak playing the guitar w a straight face right? hahaa

AHHHH serene check this out.. i thought i would just try my luck and here u go... our nights at timbre listening to them.. this's the one on tues nite issit?

for serene, thnx for waking me up frm my nap and cure my W***eyes problem, and this is to make up for that time i cudnt tape timmy down from timbre on my camera.. :)

i was just wondering if i could put youtube videos on.. so just wanted to test it out.
haa it actually works. i'm impressed, or mayb i was just wols.

well this has been a pretty trying week for me i have to say...

but i had a song for the week.. the one i will whistle down corridors - Hey Jude-Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fya_1cBTJoI
i learnt those 3 G major cords in piano class on tues and those few lines of melody played by the teacher when we play those chords kinda got stuck in my head and wont come off...

Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Hey Jude, don't be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Hey Jude, don't let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better. S

o let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin,
You're waiting for someone to perform with.
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude, you'll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Hey Jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then you'll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh.

Na na na, na na na na, na na na, hey Jude...


and there was this funny incident abt
PREGNANT ladies..
on thurs evening i was just telling py that everytime i manage to get a sit on the NEL at outram or b4 dhoby ghaut i would wish that at dhoby ghaut no pregnant ladies or elderly would step those those 2 doors near me.. because i would feel this need to give up my seat and it would be a long-stand home..
and on thurs evening, lo and behold a preg lady came on at dhoby ghaut and i let her have my seat.. that was ok, i didnt mind but when i reached sengkang i actually alighted w 2 other preg ladies frm the same cabin who were preg as well, i was really wondering wat a conincidence to see so many preg mums at 1 shot.. and when i was walking home, i walked past another preg mum. this evening on my way back.. i saw yet ANOTHER one at bouna vista when someone else gave up his seat to her..
so i was just thinking better dont say such things out next time
i seriously wan2 tell myself: jangan pantang, but haha i really think such stuff v pantang to say it out la.. right?

then there was paeds posting.. which i enjoy but felt that it was q a pity cause i didnt read up b4hand and was q lost..
Prof P was my pbl tutor, and he's q an interesting.. he calls me THE COUGHER
cause in ot on monday i just couldnt stop coughing.. but he still let me n py each scrub in for an op to help..
Dr L... he's really one of a kind.. i have not seen any tutor who's like him so far.. and he really reminds me of jenheng, the way he gets v high even on air, he's unique way with kids and parents. when he speaks he can be v funny and entertaining and the kids just love him. he'll whisper " have you da bian?" to girl patients mayb cause it may be an embarrassing question.. he likes to quiz us on anatomy in the ot.. and if u cant rem, he'll always say.." cant rem already issit?"
today's urodynamics was an eyeopener.. the poor 19yr old and 20mth old kid.. the 20mth old was really noisy and active at the beginning... v cute but had to sedate him aft much of a struggle for him to sleep but immediately when the sensor was put into the urethra he just couldn't stop screaming and crying and screaming.. u gave him everything he pointed to he also didnt want them but actually he was pointing at the door because he cant stand being in rm 14 anymore.. poor kid V.

J tan.. my fav boy who had been really cute, hope he's well aft d/c
day surgery, clinic were all rather exciting... w the 2 MOs.. 1 of them really really really look and sound like alex.. think it's his eyes.. so in the OT w the mask on hahaa
the other one was a guy of few words, but i can see he's v caring towards those kidos..

missed the mbbs shorts frm the ward this morning and the malay uncle who told us " we missed the boat" totally reminded me of dr A frm AH..

and 3 frens had birthday recently..
there's ah zui! who had his birthday on tuesday, i'm really sorry i doubted him and demanded for his i/c and even to see wellwishes sms on his phone and calling pple to prove that he's speaking nothing but the truth just cause he wanted mi to buy him a cup of coffee, because he wanted to ask if i was ok.. i buy u next time k..
thnx for being a fren, only getting to know u better from csfc @sgh then medposting @ ah right? haha have a great 23rd year of your life ya! HAPPY BIRTHDAY

then happy birthday to jingjing too.. our dearest jingdama from yunnan... she's been away for q a few mths now and i really miss her.. hope to see her real soon.. then hope everything is going well for her in NZ.. meeting all the people and intereacting with them and experiencing life there!

and happy birthday to chyan ying too.. my jc classmate.. have not seen you in a while.. hope u are doing well and all the best ya! happy 21st!!

cant believe i fell asleep typing this it's 10am on sat now.. wah hafnt slept so well in a long time.. haha :)

oh well, i guess i kinda failed the mcq bit of my med posting and gotta do a re-posting during the elective.

my mum's right i guess.

i'm just not putting enough effort into my work.

hmph.

actually i saw it coming.. but just put it at the back of my head and started on surgery posting happily.. i think there's an inherent problem that needs to be solved..

i better change for the better. well, i will.