took a little detour from my usual daily routine, and saw mani things tt made mi smile :)

well today i made a dental appointment w hougang polyclinic to check my wisdom teeth tt r all growing out at e same time, so tt i can get a referral letter for an op if there's a need.

coz ended late for patho n needed to do cofm gp work then hung ard abit more until i left at 220
well it was when i realli left my classmates tt the fact tt im going for a dental appointment realli hit mi
i started feel v jittery, q freaked out actualli, and scared
well i always had terrible experiences w dentists since young and i tink its kinda tooo deep etched into my memory for mi to feel normal abt such visits.. haha

aniway i hate it
when fear n anxiety n panice grip mi, i actualli cant function.
i cant tink str, i feel damn ganchiong, and its for heavens sake jus a freaking dental checkup

aniwae met shahidah and this other med guy at the busstop
i was feeling so shitty tt i jus smile n stand one side to stone n start hallucinating abt all the worst case senarios how they might jus do a surgery for mi there n then, n pluck out all my teeth.. damn pain damn pain
felt q bad i didnt make an effort to harlow harlow abit..
n they did in e end, commenting on the robbins i was holding to include mi in their conversation.
tt was nice
but haha i was still too stone to give time reactions to the conversation happening
n all i cud muster was a weak smile
hope they dont tink im slow in reflex or sumthing
these days i keep finding myself in awkward situations as to smile or not or missing e moment to say hi or maintaining eyecontact.. actualli these r things tt dont bother mi at all coz they jus to jus happen i dont need to think consciously.. but mayb nowadays there's this hermit syndrom coming out of mi?? haha mayb la.. feel funni to b left all alone at the mrt platform w alot of med pple standing at other exits.. i kinda noe them.. but cudnt b bothered to go join them? or dont wan to impose or dunnoe la..
haha
dont noe wat im tinking.. mayb im jus tired these days

aniway
i made it to the mrt and the ride there was terrible
still scared n jittery..
heng felika n tracy msg abit so to release some tension within mi or else ill b some wound up spring waiting to snap
mange to reach hougang mrt at 320
walau 10min to walk q a distance...
heng got out frm the correct exit and started walking b4 i realize the big field in front of e exit was blking my way n the shortest route is actualli to cut across the field
aft some evaluation, i decided tt the sun is hot enuff to dry the mud so i embark on my journey across the field but 3/4 way thru, realize its all damn muddy
sigh got realli wet n grassy feet aft tt
n slippery slippers on the surface in contact w foot
anihow
i chiong to the dental clinic coz i didnt wan to b late
n manage to reach while panting n sweatg at 2

5min $12
they didnt do much to mi actualli
the dentisit is typical v siwen looking guy w specs.. rather pale/fair
n in cnclusion 3 of my wisdom tooth need ot b removed w an oral & maxillofacial surgery n i was referred to national dental care
consultation is on fri
pray for mi
budden not yet 21 need parents.. hhaa feel abit weird coz i kinda usualli do such things alone w/o parents.. running errands visiting dentists n stuff ..
mayb coz its a tiny surgery then they wan to c parents la
talk on the phone damn long w ms operator to fix the date...
:)

on my way home..
cudnt resist the temptation to buy 3-in-1
its officially my fav dessert
w tauhuay tauhuaytsui n tangyuan
oooohhhh
i was first introduced to it my xian at hougang mall too bk in those days we did kickboxing together
wat a plc to buy dessert
bk where the passion started haha

at hougang mrt
i met this lady.. again
she actualli boarded the train w mi at outram
we got off 2gether at hougang (mayb?)
and aft we did our own stuff
we met again at hougang mrt
at the same gate
n got off together at sengkang mrt
at the same gate

i tried to smile
haha
n she smiled bk
not sure if she recog mi as the person sitting opp her jus now not

i rem her coz she had this cute pink bag
w a cartoon girl in front bending down to touch the floor in front of her toes
the cartoon girl was wearing red heels.
she was reading a young parent mag jus now
i was still tinkg wa q skinny to b a mum w a young child

when i got off the train up the esclator to the lrt
haha
a little malay girl actualli was sitting on the steps i front of mi
n she started MEDITATING!!
her fingers curled in front on her left n right
n she started chatting sumthing
macan some witch craft stuff u might catch on sebrina the teenage witch show
i was like
haha
i jus laugh lor
ok tried to smile when she opened her eyes la
n she actualli gave mi this " im a grandmaster/witch-master" look
omg

then on the lrt another kid
was so fascinated at the view frm the front of the lrt cabin
i used to b q fascinated w it too
but well the novelty kinda weared off
but looking at him
looking thru his eyes i saw "wow" stuff again
i saw mani mani colourful blks of fats, as far as u can c u jus c flats
n then suddenly a low-flying plane!
he exclaimed so excitedly..
glad i didnt miss it too :)

then on my way down the stairs of the lrt station to walk home..
another kid was so cute
she climbed all the way up the stairs to take the lrt
budden he reflex rxn was to walk towards the lift to go down again
her mum was so amused. told her,"shagua u climbed all the way up e stairs jus to take the lift down again!?!" haa
i was amused too

at the bottom of my blk
met my uncle who is a cabbie changing shift i tink
well i stay there so mani yrs mayb this is the 2nd time i met him downstairs
lucky~ :)

talk into the lift w a puddle of urine on the floor
a big one
not exactly the most glam way to end the day n reach home
but oh well

jus becoz u choose to do certain things at certain time
then other things jus fall nicely in place
pple for u to meet, events for u to witness
there r days whereby my trip home is extremely boring n fellow communters r macam like walking corpses tt dont interact w mi at all
n there r days where so mani things put a smile to my face

also noticed a particular section of glass tt cant b leaned if wearing short skirt coz ppl cuming up the escalator can see my kaceng if i do so haha

today told py my simple theory of if u lose something, no matter how hard u look for it, it wont appear, but once u stop searching for it, it appears.
a simple everiday observation
made into a cheem qn
whether it applies to other things in life
no i cant ans it.
i hope its true. but i cant b sure
oh well.