dilemma
being a good fren.. bearing hurt
i knew nothing was ok
i knew it when i heard, "actualli cum tink of it i dont need ur support"
i knew sumthing was falling apart but i dont noe how to hold on
so
i let things b?

mayb its my fault
everithing time i say it the line tt flash across my head is, "as usual rite"
i have gathered tt no matter wat i do sumone ll get hurt sumone ll b angry sumone ll...
then how
mayb tts y in midnite club, ilonka's fren (wats her name?) wanted a twin so badly so tt she cud b at 2 places at the same time

selfishness?
i dunnoe
how
mayb this is the chance for mi to prac sum decision making skills since my profession demands it anitime aniwhere
ha

i tried v hard
at least in my conscious state
do things tt make pple happi
treat others the way i wan to b treated
tts always the basic principle i live by

but sumhow
i dunnoe
everithing seems wrong
everithing seems wrong

whu can i ask to teach mi how to hold things together
u were holding bk ur tears
mayb im now too
( i suck at it man)

y issit tt the same issuse always arise
n i always seem to screw things up

things can go either way
jus on a decision i make
but sumone ard mi ll feel sum bad vibes sum hurt?

jus tt one nite
tt one sunday nite
i heard frm three pple had 3 phonecalls
3 diff issuses at hand
of which onli one involved mi
but i listen i advice i hear i try to help
i do

like i told a friend
i seem to hold alot of secrets for alot of pple
and at the same time i hold my own secrets
everi single one of it
coz as usual
huimin dwells she doesnt whine

not as if no one had asked mi how i felt b4
mayb its jus not in my bld
not a habit
not a choice

im so bottled up
i might look like a cushingnoid one dae

watever
2yrs of nightmare admist of all the joy i had came bk to haunt mi in a nite
but
i always do wat i jus decide to do on the spot
too mani considerations
too much of a dilemma

watever
the day is over
i enjoyed my day

congratulations
sorrie for ani hurt caused
but daoming shi ll say, " dao qian you yong de hua yao jing cha lai gan ma"

the obvious dist over the hp was sensed