today while i was transfering from sengkang mrt to sengkang lrt.. i saw a pregnant lady..
she's a relief teacher i had possibly in pri 3? mayb for a week or so.. and somehow i can still recognize her.. she looked pretty much the same, just tt she's pregnant now.. ms tan.
i wonder if those kidos i taught for abt 2mths post As will remember me 10+ years later or not? haaa

my mama said tt while she was trying to wake me up this morning, i said something along the lines of, "taking blood for baby" haaa guess night calls are the only time we see blood taking of children in front of us.. those tt cry their heads off, and each drop of bld have got to be painstakening squeezed out.. setting of plugs.. really very poor thing haiz..

KKH CE's was v busy as the night went on.. and quite fun.. and i met yuzeng and vicliang.. they were doing eMed and followed 2 kidos into the CE due to febrile fits, on their ambulances. met nice docs there and lotsa kids! some were so cute!

but when i got home.. i saw a carcass of a little bird.. think a car rolled over it.. it was a flat pulp.. w the feathers still q clearly visible.. stuck on one of the ramps in the multistorey carpark near my house..
damn gross..
damn poor thing

then i just caught 10min of zai jian chang jiang.. this show frm china
it's really sad...
abt saying goodbye to their home town.. to them it's a place called daxi.. aka san xia (three gorges) aka chang jiang (yangtze river)
because of the damn tt was built.. their hometown had to b flooded when they raise the waterlevel i think... but i'm not v sure.. only vaguely rem us touring tt place in sec3.. the 3 gorges tt were gorgeous.. heh

for someone who hasnt done her interactive tutorial for tomorrow and got lots left to study for pharmaco ca.. i really shudnt be spending so much time blogging.. haaa
but oh well i gotta write this down.
this is a clip frm lovers in paris.. if anyone remembers.. there was a time when i put this bit of the show as my background music for my blog.. it came frm this scene.. the guy's little speech in front and him singing the song.. :) prob one of my fav scenes..

btw i put this under one of my fav youtube videos but today i met someone on the lrt on the way home.. he kinda really looked like the male newsreporter frm ch8? but tt guy in my impression, he aint v tall. but the guy i met tonight was rather tall.. and i always thought qi-zhu frm this drama look like the newsreporter.. so meeting this stranger.. got me reminded of this clip frm the show.. haaa
i tried to peep at him abit more thru the reflection of the lrt train window cause he was standing behind me.. but i gave up aft 2 tries because everytime i looked.. he was looking at mi looking at him so i got paiseh haaa :)
anyway he stays on the same side of the lrt station as i do.. mayb i'll see him again..
wonder if he really is the newsreporter or just a lookalike?

i read serene's blog very early this morning at abt 5+ and watched the ally clip :) the song in there got stuck in my head the whole day and i was humming it on my way home...
this is the nicest version i cud get.. by jason wade - you belong to me. it's kinda in the soundtrack of shrek. to think i'm posting a youtube clip from shrek.. prob ll induce laughter in many members of the gang but oh well.. i like the song ^_^ it has got a very nice warm feeling to it.. perfect song to hear in such a chilly cold weather.. november rains?

nice to hear from you, huay.. on the gang blog! miss you lots.. :) takecare and keep warm!

this is the only foto i have of tonight.. :) thankyou birthday boy for the invite! the food was fantastic, the company was great and i had such a wonderful time. mostly spent laughing i guess. just hope tt the little acrobatic stunt i did tt was caught on video wont be circulated ard on youtube or anything.. haa just for laughs la..

it started raining towards the end of the night.. and i had a nice time walking home in the chilly breeze.. after the rain
if i rem correctly, the birthdayboy likes rainy days.. so wat an apt weather to celebrate his birthday in.. it rained the whole afternoon and at night too.. :)

today came bk early!! muahaha :)
but i think i've been blogging too much because now i can get a lift frm my cgmate n i'm away frm nus so haven't been studying in sch much.. thus all these evil distractions i'm succumbing to.

oh well just wanted to say tt altho compass mall's xmas deco isnt breath-taking but i liked the sound of it today.. cause there's this metro-christmas-magic thingy at level one's openspace.. and they played canon on repeat mode! over and over again while i was there looking for lunch :) i really really like tt song.. it started mayb during rgsguitar days where we learnt the song.. then mrs ang telling us she used the song for her wedding.. then rjharmonica days where we played tt song again.. wonder how many years of piano lessons it'll take me to play it on the piano but.. i really like it.. the song filling up the whole mall.. i can hear it no matter which level i'm at.. so it was really nice... thus i gotta put down this youtube video.. cause i found it sometime ago.. this is not the typical piano/violin way of performing the song.. it's electric guitar.. apparently arranged by a taiwanese called jerryC.. i found the youtube video of a korean guy covering his song.. but realized tt his video is much less viewed then the other guys.. i wonder why.. but here's the original one la :)



and i chanced upon this as well.. it's someone who can contort his joints q abit.. feels abit weird watching it.. and i do not recommend pple w weak heart to check it out so decided to just put the url down here.. interested pple can go see.. prob frens doing orthopaedic posting or meddies.. wonder wat it's like to examine his joints!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hGOTf3Xl6Qs

today i kinda crashed a tutorial that ended at almost 8.. but i still dont feel tired at all heh
must be all the nice things tt happen..
like playing w H my fav boy! H happens to have the same birthday as me..
30MAY
no wonder i somehow can feel this affinity btw us.. he's such a lovable boy.. always making noise when he sees me and py... wanting us to carry him! haaa
daddy calls him cheekohpek oh well..
glad he got d/c

then there was the 4 tutors we met so far.. they are all pretty nice
1) she's looks really kind.. v motherly
2) he looked like he walked out of a jap drama! wow but he's also v kind.. kinda reminded abt of another tutor frm NUH
3) she's not 1/2 as scary as i've expected.. may not yet... but i q like her
4) he reminds me a a scary surg tutor frm NUH.. as in the way he looks but he's rather profound when he describes breathing pattern and breathing cycle.. but it's q cool.. the astute observation skills a doc has never ever fails to amaze mi

and there was dr L
whom kindly requested some of her patients to come bk for us to learn from..
who not only shared w us knowledge but also shared w us her view of life.. not everyone ll agree with her but i admire her alot.. her manner, her conduct, her views..
she even shared w us a poem

it's called

- 知足 -

菜根有味
茶苦余甘
隨緣悟性
喜樂何難

she says the kind of advice tt we can give our patient should be an advice we would give ourselves if we were in our patients' shoes... and we are only guided by our conscience.

she reminded mi of DrL.. my CSFC tutor.. kinda like a first clinical tutor? he was the one who gave us a long long talk abt responsibility and intergity and wat he says still stick w mi alot.. and i hope i'll always rem tt thruout my career...

these are the things n pple that make ur day
that inspires u (not the inspire u use w expire) haa

today in the clinic a bright little boy came walking in with his parents
doc says that one of his ears totally cant hear and there's nothing anyone can do abt it
the hearing ability of his other ear seem to be progessively declining and he must take care of it..
one day it might be so low tt he needs a hearing aid
one day it might become flat such tt he needs a cholear implant
with one good ear he can still be a doctor
with one good ear he can still be a lawyer
but with one good ear he can't be a pilot.
the room fell silent for a little while, while everyone looked at boy. he smiled.. not knowing what to say.
mummy all along say.. " icic.. ok i understand icic" and they left after thanking the doc..

---

moments later, mummy was at registration counter
she was crying.. and hurriedly wipe off the tears in her eyes. not wanting boy to see them.

---

the person witnessing it all felt terribly upset as well.

breaking the news seemed like passing a sentence sometimes.

時々と本当に、自分のことが大嫌いと思います。
どうしようかな？
私なんか良い人じゃないよ。
やだな~

自分の顔を見てほしくない
自分の心も見てほしくない
自分の態度も見てほしくない。

the 3 savage gals who love meat?

note penguin 1 w spikey hair

penguin 2 w a pointy tuff of hair

penguin 3 w a bao on its head

hahaa

the first little thing that caught my eye..

aww it's so cute.. so sweet! ^_^

a movie i caught last nite

this are bits of the dance scenes from the show :D
the party where they had a mass dance at a club.. haa kinda reminded mi of days of rj orientation where we had our mass dance too. tons of running man and other steps which i still cant really figure out till this day haha.. but yea.. sch days were fun.
enjoy!

I kind of fell asleep typing my post last night, so it just says how boring it might have sounded? haha
anyway last week was pretty xiong for me and I'm glad i survived it and came out alive.. that's why i had so much fun having a relaxing day yest... better get bk to work soon.
picking up from where i left off in my last post. sun n monday had mi kx yw going bk to do our pseudo 'nightcalls'. We kinda stayed till 10 to prepare for our WA on monday.. which got postponed to tue.
tue nite to wed morning showed mi very stressed.. because i had to prepare for the professorial tutorial.. that i was q worried abt.. hope it didnt go too bad.
wed nite to thu morning showed mi rushing to finish boss's ppt slides frm the journal article we each read.. and of coz mi dozing off in the dark room during xray rounds.. haiz
thu nite to fri morning showed mi rushing to do my case writeup.. which i cudnt find time to start because of so many other nearer deadlines...
so fri nite when i went for manna evening.. altho the food was delicious, but when everyone settled down and bern started talking.. i started to struggle to keep awake.. feel q bad abt it.. but i really had tremendous problem keeping those lids up.
n aft visiting my aunt at sgh.. i kinda slept soon aft i got home.. just to wake up again at 6+ to go to bukit merah for wellbaby clinic..
haizz that's the end of work for me
in the afternoon went to clark quay with xunyu.. she introduced me to this shopping area.. beside mos and crazy horse? it was like a quaint little 3 storey mall and the basement had is like a minijapan.. the restaurants looked really authentic.. feeling v much like those i saw in japan.. and the supermarket had staff speaking in japanese.. and even a cartoon-screening corner for kids to entertain themselves while mummy goes shopping for groceries.. they were showing doramon in jap! and there was a rental store which rented series and tv programmes all in japanese... haha w/o subtitles and also english films dubbed in jap.. so i guess it's really a place catering for the japanese community in s'pore and i had such a great time shopping in there!
on the 2nd floor there was a pohkim w the greatest selection of jap dramas i haf seen in the recent years.. nowadays it's kinda hard to find jap shows in s'pore but this place had a really good collection and a friendly salesperson :D
then there was kino on the 3rd floor where i spent lotsa time in as well.. it's was really really nice. all the xmas cards and cute jap 2007 diaries!! and files and notebooks!..
it's really a good place for jappies like me haaa

thnx xunyu for bringing me there and i enjoyed our little walk round clarkquay as well.. it was pretty quiet on a saturday afternoon.. guess pple ll start filling in at night.. but q paiseh that in my excitement for the jap place i spent most of our bs time shopping.. but i had fun!

then showed mi meeting up w ser n py.. and us the 3 savage gals who love meat eating 6kfc meals in all at one setting. haaaa :D i feel full even up to now
all the conversation and laughs we share.. as i always say.. they are the greatest company.. sitting at lido and watching trailers repeat for ours while waiting for our movie to start was great fun too.. haaa

and of course there's STEP UP..
i quite like the show.. very entertaining.. liked all the music and dance in there.. it's really cool
altho the way skinny died saddened and shocked me.. otherwise it's a pretty happy and entertaining film :D
oh and there were the 2 black guys who play the violin! at the beginning of the show they actually played canon. one of my fav!
apart from checking out their interior designs and drinks.. another reason why i like to go to smoky dark places (once in a while) is cause of all this lights and music and dancing... where u can have so much fun and sweat q abit in there.. the music (like i told tracy) kinda pulsates w ur pulses.. and u feel out of ur world, out of ur daily routine and it's fun.

looking forward to kkh.
huimin happy and slept in late late today.. but dreading monday to come.. heh :)

幸福的感觉
今早起来，望着墙上的时钟，还可以赖床。。。幸福的感觉涌上心头！
that's probably because this is the first time in a long while that i get to sleep till 10am and even get to nua in bed for a while before i finally got up.. :D
i need to go bk to nuh today.. wanted to hitch my dad's ride but when my mama came by to wake mi up at 6am.. i was thinking how sad it is to wake up so so early for everyday of the week.. cause i had to go to sch yest as well.. so i decided to do some of my own travelling.. which will happen soon.. sorry to yingwei cause she's there at the student lounge liao.. i shud b there to welcome here if i haf gotten up early but i just cudnt do it this morning..
i've got lotsa lotsa work to do by tmr.. dunnoe how i'll manage that but i'll either die or die trying rite? haaa
i had such a good sleep today.. i cant believe it

must haf been the length of sleep
and all the alcohol i've downed yesterday
a glass of something.. haa think it's gin n tonic not too sure
and q abit of beer..
cause i met up w my pri sch frens! one of the 3 musketeers had his birthday party last nite.. he kinda booked the club CUBE for his party and it was q a nice place
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONGSHENG!
haa and the other 2 were ken aka poh-bia ( whom i fought w at the bk of the sch canteen donkey years ago) and wenhui who sat in front of mi in p6 haa
i hafnt seen ken face-to-face since p6 actually.. but i kinda "met" him at jay's concert and at raffles place mrt years ago i wasnt sure and he was too far away but when i msged him, he confirmed tt it was him la..
and wenhui the last time i saw him was aft As on a bus to tuition..
wah how time flies... these are the pple i've known since 9.. although many of them i rarely see.. but i tried to keep in touch w them all.
listening to their army stories.. abt life next time.. aspirations and uncertainties and stories of my medsch.. haaa we just sat ard and chatted and drank.. thnx guys for buying the beer :)

the birthday boy is kinda like a parttime model so there were model-material kinda guys and girls at his party haa tt was q cool.. but he's a really nice and softspoken guy.. when he starts talking it's exactly as he was bk in pri sch :) and think he told mi he really enjoyed his relief teaching stint post As also.. his slideshow of his life so far was nice too..

hope all of us do well in our lives.. somehow no matter where we are :)

and i always only know tt i haf too much to drink when i stand up to go to the loo.. that was when all the unsteadiness sets in and n i gotta hold on to stuff abit in the toilet.. n i met serene another pri sch fren as well.. and she looked just the same haa :)
luckily my dad came to pick mi up and i vaguely rem hafing abit of prob walking home.. esp in those heels of mine.
but the sleep was good
i've better get going cause a long long day awaits me!

:) hope this's a nice sunday~!

today is q a sad day for mi.. cause of all those kidos i meet in cubicle one..
my fav girl went home in the afternoon.. i like the way she wan2 play w me even though she doesnt speak to me..
how she ll touch mi w a pen to get mi to draw w her
how she ll offer mi a cube to play w her
how she likes to read my abc book everyday
how she ll cling onto my shoulder while standing when i sit on the side of her cot
how her pretty eyes stop crying once we come by to hello hello her..
i'm glad she can finally go home haha i actually told her mum,"cya again" before correcting myself and telling her that i dun wan to see her again in the hospital! she say yea mayb we'll see each other some other place some other time..
so i hope my fav girl has got her gastrits cleared up and well!

then there's my fav boy1 in pink..
he's such a good and polite boy, visiting his older sis who's sick.. we kinda first met outside the ward when he was wondering ard and i offered him mr incredible stickers which he really liked! and then i found out tt he's the bro of another kid.. but he got warded today.. think he must haf caught gastritis somewhere frm the wards.. poor kid.. :( get well sooN!

my fav boy 2 came in yest..
aww he's got the cutest smile i've ever seen..
very friendly very easily tickled and smiles beautifully... ll grow up to b a yandao boy haaa
but he's kinda going off to another home after discharge..he's mum mentioned something abt foster family to me.. i dunnoe the details.. but i hope he finds a good family and grows up well.. i'll visit him again tmr!
i told xunyu abt him when we had BS tonight and she prayed for him. i kinda prayed too.. hmm not exactly cause i dunnoe how and i've never done it before but oh well it's just saying out loud to someone out there what i wish the boy can find in his future and grow up strong n healthy.. i not sure how i feel aft that.. but i really hope good things ll happen to my fav boy2.. mayb i feel kinda relief tt there might be someone out there who can really have the means to help him?
anyway.

then i finally gotta clerk another boyboy's mum..
mi n hc both felt kinda sad after we talk to her.. kids w CP are tough to bring up i guess and u can see how much mummy's love u need to take care of the boy.. u'll feel how noble mummy is.
the boy is a good boy too. altho we cant really communicate but i can feel it.. he's relaxed in our presence and didnt throw any tantrums etc..
hope he can go home soon

then there's my 3 cute abangs! w their tiny sis
and their high5s aft they played in the playground felt sticky and sandy..
wonder wat they touched before smacking my hand haaaa
but aww 3 guai boys! :D
kinda didnt noe how to handle squirmy baby sis altho i tried to examine her and did 1/2 a DA cause she's kinda caught up and busy w the packet of twistees..
but haaaa

love playing w these kidos but i'm so shag so tired tt many pple enquired abt my darkeye rings and some thought i look pale and unwell..
think it's something to do w chronic fatigue..
never felt so tired for so long..
sometimes i just wanna sleep.. u know refuse to do anything else except for climbing into mi nice warm bed and puling the blanket over myself and closing my eyes and hope tt i dont haf to open them so soon.. an ave of 5hrs i kinda enuff to sustain the day but 3 wks of these kinda manifest as visibly fatigue symptoms haaa

wonder how weak and wasted i'll be reduced to by x'mas..

went out on wed w gang for a nice dinner and a nice cuppa coffee
didnt care even though i had a quiz on thu.. which luckily got postponed.. altho we miss my first big screen adult film but it's ok haa
i had a great time..
sitting on the bus down frm gleneagles to cine.. thnx iris for sending us..
i saw the x'mas lighting for the first time!!
i liked it this year.. lotsa gold.. gold stuff gold trees gold things hanging above the roads.. altho ser says it's abit boring and needed other colours.. but i liked it.. think the deco this year ll b good.. :)
i sat in the bus and peered thru the glass window macam like a tourist heh
mayb i'm deprived of such dazzling lights, glamour and festivity due to shuffling btw nuh nus lib home dayindayout.. i actually felt happy and excited by the deco... and felt like a kido haha

we also met maria for dinner cause she's flying bk to UK on monday... it's been a pleasure knowing her.. she's such a nice kind gal.. :) i'll always rem our long lunches dicussing abt cross-cultural stuff like differences in food weather and pple etc.. hope we'll meet again, some how somewhere sometime in the future

and visited mr zrj today also haaa (sorry the laugh mayb inappropriate or unkind) but q interesting to see ur classmate on the other side of the cotside.. i cud picture in my head him going behind the nurses counter, taking the continuation sheet, and go ard clerking all the ortho patients, esp his neighbours.. in his patient's attire hahaaa
hope he doesnt antagonise the nurses more.. heh get well soon ya!!

my saturday has started and very soon monday ll be here
*shivers down my spine*

http://www.nataliedee.com/032703/sleepy.jpg

haha i think this pix is really cute

actually i dont feel sleepy.. just feel abit jittery abt tmr and the many more days to come..

i MUST NOT feel sleepy..

my fave line of the wk is

"even if i dont sleep for the next 20yrs, i'll not be able to finish reading wat i wan2 read"

well,

read abt SMA syndrome, it's actually rather interesting..

阿牛 哭
曲 : 阿牛 词 : 阿牛
以前我看到朋友哭 我很羡慕
可是我怎麽逗我自己 怎麽弄我自己
我的眼泪都流不出

总觉得能够哭的朋友 都很幸福
能够把满腔的无耐 满腔的痛苦
让泪水带走

#最苦是泪水在哽在心头 流不出
就像要爱却不懂得怎麽去爱
自己哭过後才明白
流过泪的眼睛 将生命看得更清楚

@只有真正懂得付出的人
才懂得何为哭 为何哭
再坚强的心偶尔也会脆弱
心会痛 心也会感动
只有曾经真心付出的人
才懂得何为哭 为何哭
泪水要记得为真心保留
眼泪别白白的流# @

Heard this song over the radio just now.. used to like it q a lot but cant seem to find it on youtube.. found the other ah-niu song tt I like last time too haahaa

heard this song over the radio just now.. :)

i just woke up from a 2hr nap and my head is feeling really heavy and painful
my infected swollen right eye didnt seem to be better and it's killing me.. who to blame but myself for sleeping w the contacts on?? haizz shit la and i'm particularly fotosensitive i think cause the drops have pupil dilatory effects.

today i had a possibly last tuition session w my tutees.. haha end up food (as usual) stickers and balloons.. :p good luck guys! the next 3 days ll be ur big big day and then v soon it'll all b over!
cant imagine sunday morning w/o them after so many years hor..
but well this mayb my last tuition stint so feeling all nostalgic abt it... a job i haf held on since jan 2004.. 3 whole years and all those students i haf had..
hope i haf helped in some way la..

this week i haf been utterly stressed and tired and i haf never felt so tired in my life i think
my hiding in the library saw mi sleeping q abit towards the end of the week which is no good. better buck up soon! but the quietness and solitude is rather enjoyable i must say haa.. helps me get away frm tv and hopefully excessive sleep..

the wk in paeds i feel kinda sad for alot of kids seeing them suffer lidat and cant help but feel so lucky to grow up as a healthy child w not much restriction and had all the fun i cud possibly had in my childhood.. i always thot i wud b the kinda mum to allow kids do watever they wan in mean as so long as it's not too dangerous and my own definition of dangerous is kinda lax so they shud usually get wat they wan. e.g. cycling is definitely a must learn i think. budden at the spina bifida clinic on sat saw this pretty young girl who neurogenic bladder and had to do CIC for the rest of her life just because of a bicycle accident.. then suddenly i felt tt i cud so see it frm an overprotective mummy's POV.. it scares me to see how easily accident can occur and coming frm me, who's someone who never ever heeds my mum's safety advice i think it meant alot to me. then when i told my mama she because the openminded one.. abt how we all had accidents and survived w/o any injury.. she believes tt it's all fate and life. and she suddenly started to sound like me.. trying to wriggle my way out of my mum's tightly clenched fist.. and telling her tt even if i stay near home.. just walking along the road i might get run down by a car anytime.. so y not let me go out there and experience all i wan? haha

i feel much better already
few more hours to monday the start of week 3, the start of my stress and fatigue.. y are wkends always so short?

oh congrats to all who's involved in play house this year.. i watched our play and it was fantastic! really entertaining and funny and it induced laughter frm the audience really frequently.. good job guys! u all deserve to win!!

revelation: i always thought both my brothers are very different in character. as different as it can get. but today it became so damn obvious.. underlying their differences.. there's this particular SAME trait. mayb tt's why at the end of the day.. i might be the one different from the both of them in this aspect. although i've always been sure i'm like both of them in some other aspects.
wtf.. i'm not making sense.. i'm to myself only. but maybe because it's the FUCKING wee hrs of the morning and i never can seem to finish the work i set out to do and looks like i wont be getting much sleep 2night.
some things just gets to me without fail.
different context, same situation, same rxn.

wat a fantastic way to start november
without non-Hodgkin's lymphoma :) and Keanu :(