more than i wk has passed since i last blogged.
well this has always been the case since 5wks ago i gathered
but not animore
since i officially stopped working on 1jul
:) :S @_@ :(
mixed feelgs i guee

im happi tt now i haf more time for everithing else
myself
no more ocbc stories to irritate exasperated frens haha
i guess i shud sum it up some how
for myself
then i wud realli stop harping on it
or dwellg i shud say

last wk been wow
so mani things happened tt my little brain cant register
there was monday
where i made jelly again
i realli felt happi like realli frm inside
when i see everione happi
enjoyg the food eating
then i realize today
i wont b there at the meetg animore
n since im so inconsequential, haha as in to the whole workings of the dept, my absence ll prob jus b noted for a bit n tts all
then i feel abit nostalgic
not alot onli abit
n abit disorientated
like its time to pack up n go
to leave another phase of my life
a short one
walking into this environment for 5wks and leaving jus lidat
i dunnoe where to place these pple n these experiences animore
aiyah prob the same feelg i get aft like trips or immersion
mayb taiwan was lidat
no time to wait for the feelg of it all to fade
i jumped at my internship the next day on my birthday n got to noe these pple
things i haf done n experienced, well its been a gd experience

then tue there was bs
for once i felt 无言
like i got alot to say but i jus dont cum out right until i dunnoe wat to say animore
it sounds wrong
but i dunnoe how to go abt correcting it
or was it coz i didnt try hard enuff?

then wed came
jitters came too
coz thu was the sship presentation ceremony where i had to make my speech*
i haf to give credit to kailyn
i tink it was q a well written speech
definitely something that, myself who haf a prob even getting spelling and gramma correct, would not b able to produce.
but aft tuition frm 10-2am
i was practicing my speech
over n over again
getting the pauses at the correct time
practicing how i shud look, like look at whu at wat time n stuff
i mean im freaking out
abit paranoid
but to mi
im definitely ok, in fact grateful if i didnt haf to make the speech
but if im doing it
i wan to make sure tt i goes well
the way i would like my speech to go
to step up confidently n step down the stage w/o regrets :)
well then i practiced
trying to rem the whole speech so tt i can deliver w/o reading off the script
n of coz checking my attire to make sure i looked ai zai :D

oh n the pohpiah restaurant tt chadwick brought mi to was damn nice!
finally got to treat him coz they didnt accept nets or credit card haha
to repay him for feedg off him so mani times in the past wks
:)

thu came
i cudnt f(x) too well coz everiother min i was rehearsing the speech in my brain
altho i was lookg at kesdee trying to study basis pt value
but things jus dont register
there is this inherent ganchiongness in mi
which i try not to expose but its there
then i got to noe vivien is on leave tmr n today ll b the last day i c her
so i got to lunch w her
as a bye lunch at vilage

vivien is q an interesting lady
the 2 of us r always earliest at our desk
n everi morning i got a gd morning frm her, for like wks
she made the first attempt to say helllo
which im grateful for
n the tsui kuay tt she offers frm bedok is real gd
always offering mi breakfast
getting mi to tok more
she does it effortlessly
i kinda respect her alot
jus the air ard her i tink
not anithing tt she did in particular but we kinda hit off much better, joking n toking abt more personal stuff in the last wk
i suddenly realize the last wk was the time i got to noe everione much better, mayb coz its the oh the intern's leaving soon n stuff.

aniwae lunch was v exciting
vivien selena meeyan mingyin elizabeth n mi
wow
these r the aunties man
no auntie in ani degradatory way
but jus married, working women w young kids n the source of juicy gossips
whu said wat, did wat, wats the motive behind this action n stuff was exchanged
well interestg
i tink i get to sit in to all these stuff coz im totally no threat, leaving soon and look uninterested or not into the circle enuff to spread it aniway haha

but i was realli interesting to eat w them
i got similar qn
the ones i always get haha
but
yep tt was a gd meal
vivien loves cheese susage
everione wished mi luck for the speech.

i came bk n made kailyn listen to mi make the speech 3-4 times while i rehearsed
i realli appreciate it
altho i m officially labelled very paranoid n jittery haha
she got to walk thru the trading rm abit
:)
up 2 the exectives club i went
n there i got to meet the old scholars ahha
we sat at a table of all the oldies scholars ranging frm 2001 to 2004
hit it off q well w all the ex scholars
whu r q a funni bunch
we were the last table left eating n chitchatting aft e whole ceremony ended n had lots of fun
met jean whu got the sship as well
n the mc read christine's name out too even tho they gave the sship away to some one else aft she rejected it i tink
n i went up
delivered my speech w/o major flaws la
but i tink i toked very fast coz i was damn nervous
i was conscious of my speed but i jus cudnt slow it down
i was abit disturbed tt the ceo didnt look at mi while i was speaking
making mi abit conscious as to whether i was too jialat
but kailyn said he did n a pic they took for mi confirmed tt as well
so hmm
but there was one interesting lady whu realli expressed so much interest in my speech tt she was lookg at mi frm the first word to the last
abit scary tho
but nods n smiles frm pple affirmed mi la i guess
it was a gd public speaking experinece
n i still cudnt believe tt my dad almost make mi go to the speakers coner tt morning to prac the speech w him hahaa
but mr conner came to pat my bk n said it was a great speech, keep it up

everione ask mi how it was when iwas bk
toked to chadwick yt n terence abit
those whu helped mi w it
im realli grateful
terence even gave mi pointers how to deliver speeches :)

met up w lifang ningyi n huiyue for dinner
brought them to the porkrib prawn noodle place!
nice
shared abit on what we haf all been doing n sent them off
it was nice seeing all of them again aft so long
py got gastric hope shes better already

fri came
i was there at 7 10 coz my dad has to b bk in sengkang by 8
took e time to take a look at the office n took some photos of the place
paiseh to take pic when everiones in there busy
so heng no one was there yet
swee wan was first to arrive at 740

n by 8 which is official start work time less than 10 was ard i tink hhaa
by 830 everione was in
coz i tink boss onli arrives aft 830
missed terence coz he was on mc so didnt get to say bye

claire had some stuff for mi to do
i cleared up my desk abit
to make it look as if i was never there
was suddenly reminded of the 词
轻轻的我走了
正如我轻轻的轻轻的来
我挥一挥手
告别了西天的云彩

haha was clearing stuff n trying to throw away alot of things
lunch at vietnam restauarnt w abt 11 of them
they made themselves free for some farewell lunch for mi
i tink they all expected mi to tok alot or sumhting
but i didnt so the atm was abit weird which i feel v paiseh abt
but i was v sleepy n realli wasnt in the mode to entertain
paiseh la
there was chiawchay n gerard tt i went w first
manhunt champion n elite model haah
the yewtong chadwick roland eddy elieen audreys andrew
i wanted to treat them coffee but the insisted cannot so i didnt
damn paiseh
:s
but the topic of the day was whether boyfrens shud carry their gf's bags.
haha frm eddy's mouth," carrying her bag is like wearing her bra" ?!?
haha
they went ard bettg the ans frm diff pple
n some of them realli wud n didnt mind
the ladies said the worst thing is u buy her flowers n haf to carry the flowers ard for her
which one guy used to do
oh man :s haha
the snags la huh in a nice way
haa

then i spent the aft doing admin stuff
getting forms signed n gettg the ot form
returing my temp pass n saying gd byes
to the uncle at the door
to the admin pple inside another rm
to the trading pple
to roland whu wont b going to the durina party

selena was kind enuff to get mi transport
fmr stephanie
whu i got to noe onli on the last day n she stays onli a few blks away
siugim n teehee
pleasure

boss house was huge
didnt explore the whole thing but yea
her meesiam was nice
not spectacular
but i tink they praised it abit too much heh
the fruits wow
alot of durians peach cheery mangosteen lychee rambutan etc 400+ worth of fruits haha
took pix w them
they r v funni pple
nice to c everione in a relaxed mode chit chatting mingling
n when they gamble wa 50s fly everiwhere
n they all went crazy like kids
q cute huh
i lost 2/3 of a days pay haha
but all for the fun la
then its time for gd bye
got numbers frm some of them
eddy offers mi best rated if i wan to xchange foreign currency haha
thankyou
interbank rates! haha

got home
sat was crazy again
w my cousins
went to sell balloons at a funfair
wow
scary sia
tiring n alot of pple
but so popular tt 200 balloons gone in a few hours
i enjoy their company
played all the funfair games n even got prices ahaha
then became baby sitter n brought 9 of us to watch initial d together
haha for once i brought the kids out
responsibility sia
heh
but i was fun la i wud say
played daytona w cousins too haha
wat an experinece

n the leading man of the day
jaydon
so cute
but i failed miserably at carrying babies
he jus kept squirming n didnt look too comfortable
i mus practice!
sun till now 3 tuitions
tired liaoz

watched a jap show
nice
wat is the last thing i would wan to see in this world if i go blind the next moment?
i dunnoe man

tt was my wk


i was feelg abit scared n freaked out yest
5wks went by in a blink
ll 5yrs 10yrs go by so soon
im afraid
tt my life ll jus pass mi by lidat
for the first time
dunwan to slack ard too much liao huh
when vivien told mi i mus b a gd doc ya
i felt wowed by it
n watchg tt jap show helped abit too i tink
i start to tink how can i b a gd doc?
then i lament at how i hafnt b holding on to my time properly
i need to reevaluae alot of things
im glad for all this time myself
to find out wat i wan
how i shud approach yr2
pack my rm -.-"
n move off on the right track
i dont wan to b ignorant animore
there's so mani things out there to learn
yt showed mi tt abit
my neighbour colleague whu is always reading intererst bks like sociology - why things fail. bks on dna n of course banking la
andrew says tt when u r studying u onli need to answer to urself
yep i guess tts the most impt.
answering to myself
can i do tt?

jus read this
彷徨

做了一场梦，
梦见千万棵苹果树上的苹果，
瞬间落下，
落地前的千万分之一秒’
轻轻的扬起
再缓缓缓缓地轻贴地面，
没有一点声响， 没有惊吓到谁。

苹果树下，
有人顿悟地心引力的伟大理论。
午睡过后，
有人决定了人生前进的伟大目标
而我仍只是昏昏沉沉地
在梦与现实中徘徊。

hope to find the way to do things right soon