today i did something tt i normally would not do.. which is to lose my temper n scream at someone, outside of my home.. i usu v calm and even-tempered amongst my frens.. and yup being the lousy-take-my-family-for-granted kinda person, i'll only explode when i'm home la

but today because of some slight things tt a fren kept irritating me w.. i exploded in his face and said real mean stuff. i feel q guitly abt it la.. and i think he got it even worse because i know he's my good fren... i think i wont say such stuff to strangers i work w.. because my motto is "never say anything tt ll burn bridges.. always b diplomatic" and i used to pride myself as having a v high self moniter and not showing blackface even when i angry when i'm w other pple.
ah zui.. i'm sorry ya.

but this is like the 2nd time in 4days lo.. i kinda raised my voice to my subgp leader on fri also la. haizz this sucks big time. CHP is getting more interesting in the sense tt it's bringing out sides of me tt has never been seen in public before.. even i was stunned when i said wat i said today.

i better watch it k. watch my temper n stay calm.
how can i lead a gp when i'm so hypersensitive and volatile..
how can i go ard being a liability n exploding in pple's faces when i just cant take it?
there's nothing i cant tahan. i seriously dont want the same thing to happen ever again. angry w myself now, coming to think of it. how can i not b my usual eventempered, levelheaded self? esp when the situation really needs me to b right now? hai.