almost slept in my blanket n dark rm
then remebered something and came online to check again
went to read my blog and i realize something

jus like wat im doing now, and wat i do mostly as a conversattionalist
i dont exactly formulate my opinion and tots very well
i tell stories, recount, write stories
tt's all

sometimes i feel sick and tired of this
tired of how i cant covey my feelgs thoughts properly?

im really like born to entertain pple?
like todays 3f gathering.. i start to tell stories when i reached
yak yak yak for like 15min or sumthing
made everione laugh
sometimes i wonder if my sole f(x) within my frens is to do jus tt
b an entertainer
mayb tt's y i score so high in tt self monitor test i did during pdcp
haha
then i tok so much tt im actualli tired frm toking
when i stop toking if it becomes too quiet i ll start toking again
mayb its jus w 3f
my f(x) there is to entertain them
it always happen in all class gathering

i noticed tt i act very differently w diff pple
w the gang i try to b more steady coz tt's laoda's job
then w judo pple i can afford to b more kid n haha coz carol is more of our dajieda, i jus need to b a lubricant or sumthing
then w my family i tok damn alot too.. always trying not to haf akward silences since my bros barely tok to each other

sometimes i can afford to relac one corner n jus shuddup w pple im not too familiar w
i dunnoe la
q sianzz

i hope i can express myself better
altho im a freaking blindspot
\haha i spend 75% if the time tellg stories
when pple really challenge mi to make my stand
i cant do it well
which sucks

was lookg at friendster
the saw frens whu haf characteristics tt i really like
i realli like them in tt way
then i tink of the person i am
the person i am not
and the person i never wud b

if i like a particular characteristic of sumone
shud i learn to b lidat
its q weird rite
n i prob cant do it coz im not lidat.
but whu defines "lidat"
wat whu defines our character/personality
can we change it
shud we
do we need to

i wonder

oh i rem wat i wanted to blog abt last nite
baby cousin = jaydon choy (cui) kaijun
haha
shud bring him to watch initial D to support jay haha

was toking to a fren abt naming my cousin
fren i definitely an unknown so glad when fren offered info/opinions.. haha
i always like toking to pple prone to being an unknown
not tt im trying to sterotype everione but when unknowns tell mi personal stuff.. im honored n happy.
seriously.
wat they say seem more worthy then blindspots whu rattle off all the time

tink i dislike doing tt sumtimes
but i cant realli help it
im trying to keep my tongue in check hahah
can conserve energy in this way

im confused la
as to wat kind of person i wan to b
if i can change tt

oh my fav boy name is kenneth
and there's a story to it
but haah
watever rite...
mayb my son ll b a kenneth next time :)