me and my dear judo girls haaa there's huiyi xianggong xinyi my airen and me and manny sitting on my thigh.. haaa all my scandals! i think mi and manny both looked damn funny in the last foto so gotta put this up.. :p lol 

here's the birthday girl!! have a great 21st ya!! u looked really hot w ur chunli attire and high slit qipao w 2 cute baos on ur head haa :) enjoy urself!! 

Happy Birthday Manny! this was us when we first arrived at manny's place.. me and xy changed at kembangan mrt and i was so paiseh i didnt dare to go into the house haaaaa oh well who do u think i looked like? but guesses frm everyone who attempted tt nite wasnt correct, so i failed in conjuring a "random thief" image for myself la ahaa 

my mama is actively involved in my tuition sessions too i guess haaa she'll find lotsa nice food to feed my tutees and chat with them.. so here's a foto for memory la... it had been fun and hoped i really helped u guys for ur Os ya.. :) 

i was blind and all i had was my little pink doggie. this trushworthy fren brings me around everywhere i go.. looking out for danger for me! :) 

me and my dear tutees - carmen and chermaine.. haa this was the last day of tuition where we had q abit of fun w all the balloons and taking of fotos! haaaa i've taught u guys for 2 and 3 yrs respectively hor.. and sunday morning felt abit too quiet these days aft u guys stop coming over haaa.. let's go out some day ya.. and if u rem there were alot more funny fotos taken tt day but due to the need to protect my image they'll not b posted la.. haha i'll email u guys if u all wan it ya! :D when are we going out? 

EURO film fest + pizza at spizza.. i remember their pizzas' names were in alphabetical order and they were really good :) so this is at tan and felika.. my 2 kaki's of our yakuza who controls me to function as a laoda so tt even if mata comes they'll catch me and not them right? haaaa crystal and geraldine later joined us and we caught From Subway With Love.. which was a really witty and fun show w a young girl going for an old man who turned out to b her mum's exboyfren and the story unfolds haaa :) 

here's more of us!! :)

this was our kbox out one thursday nite some time in october! haaa it was ladies nite so no cover charge.. had lotsa fun and we always sing the weirdest song.. so folks we r going to challenge the oldies next time? :D

haaa last nite while talking to frens on msn and trying to upload fotos i kinda dozed off.. so paiseh to everyone who was talking to me ya :p
let's see if this works now..
woke up in morn, wan2 meet beng for our swim but weather's no good.. so i've got abit of morning time to spare.. :)
had the weirdest dream.. pple all dressed up for christmas, and stuff haaa

aft posting test yesterday, went shopping met caleb and yingxian. had fun talking to them.
ser came over to stayover at my place last nite while i happily slept for 4 hrs.
sent py and the rest of YN team off at 5+ am
sat at coffeebean chatting w ser, reading papers until 11am
shop for manny's present and went for her party.. had alot of fun
but i slept a grand total of 5hrs in 2 days so i'm damn sleepy now and cant really funtion and think v well.. haa ll post fotos soon

today is the day w the shortest daytime and longest nighttime!
- just heard it frm the radio

today's end of posting clinical test was ok i guess.. altho i was abit gek w myself cause i felt that i could have answered some of the questions much better if i wasnt so kan-chiong.. haiz but it's over so bohpian la

it's such a coincidence that the long case i got today was a patient that i know pretty well.. her parents are also v kind pple and today her mama tried to help me as much as she could.. i could sense it. thnx auntie :)

it kinda bring my paeds posting this time to a nice ending.. for the last patient i clerk for this posting is actually the first patient i ever clerked in this posting as well... :)

recently i've been spending some of my time watching this show on youtube.. haiz i know i should be using my time more wisely aka studying.. but this keeps me from dozing off when i study at night.. i just gotta have a teenyweeny bit more of self control heh

this poster reminds mi of MNIKSS's poster.. doesnt it? even the pple look like they are standing in about the same position.. but the show's quite nice i think..

熟悉的温柔 - Vic Zhou

i must say zaizai's acting has improved aot since metero garden days in 2001 when i first watched him and his singing also.. haha i think it's much better than his "naked fish" days..

静静的 - harlem yu

think it's a v apt song for the show cause there are many instances of prolonged silences :) haa and it fits so well into a particular scene in the show i just watched..

and of course the female lead - pu en hui. she's the dachangjin's best fren from dachangjin... and she looked rather pretty in this show, now i wont really hear "ulala ulala" when i see her anymore haaa

oh and the show has this bit about Christmas 2006. which is coming soon.. :)

okok back to my notes!

i remember wanting to jot this down last nite.
but since i fell asleep at 9PM i was unable to do so.
oh well.

i've got a tutor who kinda look like sakaguchi kenji (the guy whose face have the greatest surface area in the pix) in iryu! haaa not like splitting image kinda alike but just the style of it all.. haaa and one of my cg mates agrees w me also! cause we saw the poster of this drama when we went japan in jun. the funniest thing was yest evening while we were talking abt the paeds exam and the possibility of doing re-posting, aft he said it.. he was like "touch wood ar" and he went to plaster both his UL and his R LL on the wooden cupboard doors in the wards?!? haaa macam like a lizard.. it's really funny.. but one of our fav tutors i must say.. v nice and dedicated teacher!

and on my way home i was caught in a moment of chaos and order.

wat i meant was the traffic light at the cross road junction near my house was down... no lights at all.. and all the vehicles just turn when they get a chance to and pple just cross the road as safely as they could.. so tt's wat i did too.. crossing the road at the first instance i was able too... but as i was half way across the road. the lights came back on! and everything was orderly again.

so tt was my moment of chaos and order.

then today on my way home i saw this old cachexic wheelchair bound elderly gentleman sitting at e void deck w a cigarette dangling from btw his fingers..

i wonder if smoking caused his poor health or was it because since his health was already not so good, so he cant care less to quit his habit?

Muse - Time is running out

today while i was transfering from sengkang mrt to sengkang lrt.. i saw a pregnant lady..
she's a relief teacher i had possibly in pri 3? mayb for a week or so.. and somehow i can still recognize her.. she looked pretty much the same, just tt she's pregnant now.. ms tan.
i wonder if those kidos i taught for abt 2mths post As will remember me 10+ years later or not? haaa

my mama said tt while she was trying to wake me up this morning, i said something along the lines of, "taking blood for baby" haaa guess night calls are the only time we see blood taking of children in front of us.. those tt cry their heads off, and each drop of bld have got to be painstakening squeezed out.. setting of plugs.. really very poor thing haiz..

KKH CE's was v busy as the night went on.. and quite fun.. and i met yuzeng and vicliang.. they were doing eMed and followed 2 kidos into the CE due to febrile fits, on their ambulances. met nice docs there and lotsa kids! some were so cute!

but when i got home.. i saw a carcass of a little bird.. think a car rolled over it.. it was a flat pulp.. w the feathers still q clearly visible.. stuck on one of the ramps in the multistorey carpark near my house..
damn gross..
damn poor thing

then i just caught 10min of zai jian chang jiang.. this show frm china
it's really sad...
abt saying goodbye to their home town.. to them it's a place called daxi.. aka san xia (three gorges) aka chang jiang (yangtze river)
because of the damn tt was built.. their hometown had to b flooded when they raise the waterlevel i think... but i'm not v sure.. only vaguely rem us touring tt place in sec3.. the 3 gorges tt were gorgeous.. heh

for someone who hasnt done her interactive tutorial for tomorrow and got lots left to study for pharmaco ca.. i really shudnt be spending so much time blogging.. haaa
but oh well i gotta write this down.
this is a clip frm lovers in paris.. if anyone remembers.. there was a time when i put this bit of the show as my background music for my blog.. it came frm this scene.. the guy's little speech in front and him singing the song.. :) prob one of my fav scenes..

btw i put this under one of my fav youtube videos but today i met someone on the lrt on the way home.. he kinda really looked like the male newsreporter frm ch8? but tt guy in my impression, he aint v tall. but the guy i met tonight was rather tall.. and i always thought qi-zhu frm this drama look like the newsreporter.. so meeting this stranger.. got me reminded of this clip frm the show.. haaa
i tried to peep at him abit more thru the reflection of the lrt train window cause he was standing behind me.. but i gave up aft 2 tries because everytime i looked.. he was looking at mi looking at him so i got paiseh haaa :)
anyway he stays on the same side of the lrt station as i do.. mayb i'll see him again..
wonder if he really is the newsreporter or just a lookalike?

i read serene's blog very early this morning at abt 5+ and watched the ally clip :) the song in there got stuck in my head the whole day and i was humming it on my way home...
this is the nicest version i cud get.. by jason wade - you belong to me. it's kinda in the soundtrack of shrek. to think i'm posting a youtube clip from shrek.. prob ll induce laughter in many members of the gang but oh well.. i like the song ^_^ it has got a very nice warm feeling to it.. perfect song to hear in such a chilly cold weather.. november rains?

nice to hear from you, huay.. on the gang blog! miss you lots.. :) takecare and keep warm!

this is the only foto i have of tonight.. :) thankyou birthday boy for the invite! the food was fantastic, the company was great and i had such a wonderful time. mostly spent laughing i guess. just hope tt the little acrobatic stunt i did tt was caught on video wont be circulated ard on youtube or anything.. haa just for laughs la..

it started raining towards the end of the night.. and i had a nice time walking home in the chilly breeze.. after the rain
if i rem correctly, the birthdayboy likes rainy days.. so wat an apt weather to celebrate his birthday in.. it rained the whole afternoon and at night too.. :)

today came bk early!! muahaha :)
but i think i've been blogging too much because now i can get a lift frm my cgmate n i'm away frm nus so haven't been studying in sch much.. thus all these evil distractions i'm succumbing to.

oh well just wanted to say tt altho compass mall's xmas deco isnt breath-taking but i liked the sound of it today.. cause there's this metro-christmas-magic thingy at level one's openspace.. and they played canon on repeat mode! over and over again while i was there looking for lunch :) i really really like tt song.. it started mayb during rgsguitar days where we learnt the song.. then mrs ang telling us she used the song for her wedding.. then rjharmonica days where we played tt song again.. wonder how many years of piano lessons it'll take me to play it on the piano but.. i really like it.. the song filling up the whole mall.. i can hear it no matter which level i'm at.. so it was really nice... thus i gotta put down this youtube video.. cause i found it sometime ago.. this is not the typical piano/violin way of performing the song.. it's electric guitar.. apparently arranged by a taiwanese called jerryC.. i found the youtube video of a korean guy covering his song.. but realized tt his video is much less viewed then the other guys.. i wonder why.. but here's the original one la :)



and i chanced upon this as well.. it's someone who can contort his joints q abit.. feels abit weird watching it.. and i do not recommend pple w weak heart to check it out so decided to just put the url down here.. interested pple can go see.. prob frens doing orthopaedic posting or meddies.. wonder wat it's like to examine his joints!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hGOTf3Xl6Qs

today i kinda crashed a tutorial that ended at almost 8.. but i still dont feel tired at all heh
must be all the nice things tt happen..
like playing w H my fav boy! H happens to have the same birthday as me..
30MAY
no wonder i somehow can feel this affinity btw us.. he's such a lovable boy.. always making noise when he sees me and py... wanting us to carry him! haaa
daddy calls him cheekohpek oh well..
glad he got d/c

then there was the 4 tutors we met so far.. they are all pretty nice
1) she's looks really kind.. v motherly
2) he looked like he walked out of a jap drama! wow but he's also v kind.. kinda reminded abt of another tutor frm NUH
3) she's not 1/2 as scary as i've expected.. may not yet... but i q like her
4) he reminds me a a scary surg tutor frm NUH.. as in the way he looks but he's rather profound when he describes breathing pattern and breathing cycle.. but it's q cool.. the astute observation skills a doc has never ever fails to amaze mi

and there was dr L
whom kindly requested some of her patients to come bk for us to learn from..
who not only shared w us knowledge but also shared w us her view of life.. not everyone ll agree with her but i admire her alot.. her manner, her conduct, her views..
she even shared w us a poem

it's called

- 知足 -

菜根有味
茶苦余甘
隨緣悟性
喜樂何難

she says the kind of advice tt we can give our patient should be an advice we would give ourselves if we were in our patients' shoes... and we are only guided by our conscience.

she reminded mi of DrL.. my CSFC tutor.. kinda like a first clinical tutor? he was the one who gave us a long long talk abt responsibility and intergity and wat he says still stick w mi alot.. and i hope i'll always rem tt thruout my career...

these are the things n pple that make ur day
that inspires u (not the inspire u use w expire) haa

today in the clinic a bright little boy came walking in with his parents
doc says that one of his ears totally cant hear and there's nothing anyone can do abt it
the hearing ability of his other ear seem to be progessively declining and he must take care of it..
one day it might be so low tt he needs a hearing aid
one day it might become flat such tt he needs a cholear implant
with one good ear he can still be a doctor
with one good ear he can still be a lawyer
but with one good ear he can't be a pilot.
the room fell silent for a little while, while everyone looked at boy. he smiled.. not knowing what to say.
mummy all along say.. " icic.. ok i understand icic" and they left after thanking the doc..

---

moments later, mummy was at registration counter
she was crying.. and hurriedly wipe off the tears in her eyes. not wanting boy to see them.

---

the person witnessing it all felt terribly upset as well.

breaking the news seemed like passing a sentence sometimes.

時々と本当に、自分のことが大嫌いと思います。
どうしようかな？
私なんか良い人じゃないよ。
やだな~

自分の顔を見てほしくない
自分の心も見てほしくない
自分の態度も見てほしくない。

the 3 savage gals who love meat?

note penguin 1 w spikey hair

penguin 2 w a pointy tuff of hair

penguin 3 w a bao on its head

hahaa

the first little thing that caught my eye..

aww it's so cute.. so sweet! ^_^

a movie i caught last nite

this are bits of the dance scenes from the show :D
the party where they had a mass dance at a club.. haa kinda reminded mi of days of rj orientation where we had our mass dance too. tons of running man and other steps which i still cant really figure out till this day haha.. but yea.. sch days were fun.
enjoy!

I kind of fell asleep typing my post last night, so it just says how boring it might have sounded? haha
anyway last week was pretty xiong for me and I'm glad i survived it and came out alive.. that's why i had so much fun having a relaxing day yest... better get bk to work soon.
picking up from where i left off in my last post. sun n monday had mi kx yw going bk to do our pseudo 'nightcalls'. We kinda stayed till 10 to prepare for our WA on monday.. which got postponed to tue.
tue nite to wed morning showed mi very stressed.. because i had to prepare for the professorial tutorial.. that i was q worried abt.. hope it didnt go too bad.
wed nite to thu morning showed mi rushing to finish boss's ppt slides frm the journal article we each read.. and of coz mi dozing off in the dark room during xray rounds.. haiz
thu nite to fri morning showed mi rushing to do my case writeup.. which i cudnt find time to start because of so many other nearer deadlines...
so fri nite when i went for manna evening.. altho the food was delicious, but when everyone settled down and bern started talking.. i started to struggle to keep awake.. feel q bad abt it.. but i really had tremendous problem keeping those lids up.
n aft visiting my aunt at sgh.. i kinda slept soon aft i got home.. just to wake up again at 6+ to go to bukit merah for wellbaby clinic..
haizz that's the end of work for me
in the afternoon went to clark quay with xunyu.. she introduced me to this shopping area.. beside mos and crazy horse? it was like a quaint little 3 storey mall and the basement had is like a minijapan.. the restaurants looked really authentic.. feeling v much like those i saw in japan.. and the supermarket had staff speaking in japanese.. and even a cartoon-screening corner for kids to entertain themselves while mummy goes shopping for groceries.. they were showing doramon in jap! and there was a rental store which rented series and tv programmes all in japanese... haha w/o subtitles and also english films dubbed in jap.. so i guess it's really a place catering for the japanese community in s'pore and i had such a great time shopping in there!
on the 2nd floor there was a pohkim w the greatest selection of jap dramas i haf seen in the recent years.. nowadays it's kinda hard to find jap shows in s'pore but this place had a really good collection and a friendly salesperson :D
then there was kino on the 3rd floor where i spent lotsa time in as well.. it's was really really nice. all the xmas cards and cute jap 2007 diaries!! and files and notebooks!..
it's really a good place for jappies like me haaa

thnx xunyu for bringing me there and i enjoyed our little walk round clarkquay as well.. it was pretty quiet on a saturday afternoon.. guess pple ll start filling in at night.. but q paiseh that in my excitement for the jap place i spent most of our bs time shopping.. but i had fun!

then showed mi meeting up w ser n py.. and us the 3 savage gals who love meat eating 6kfc meals in all at one setting. haaaa :D i feel full even up to now
all the conversation and laughs we share.. as i always say.. they are the greatest company.. sitting at lido and watching trailers repeat for ours while waiting for our movie to start was great fun too.. haaa

and of course there's STEP UP..
i quite like the show.. very entertaining.. liked all the music and dance in there.. it's really cool
altho the way skinny died saddened and shocked me.. otherwise it's a pretty happy and entertaining film :D
oh and there were the 2 black guys who play the violin! at the beginning of the show they actually played canon. one of my fav!
apart from checking out their interior designs and drinks.. another reason why i like to go to smoky dark places (once in a while) is cause of all this lights and music and dancing... where u can have so much fun and sweat q abit in there.. the music (like i told tracy) kinda pulsates w ur pulses.. and u feel out of ur world, out of ur daily routine and it's fun.

looking forward to kkh.
huimin happy and slept in late late today.. but dreading monday to come.. heh :)

幸福的感觉
今早起来，望着墙上的时钟，还可以赖床。。。幸福的感觉涌上心头！
that's probably because this is the first time in a long while that i get to sleep till 10am and even get to nua in bed for a while before i finally got up.. :D
i need to go bk to nuh today.. wanted to hitch my dad's ride but when my mama came by to wake mi up at 6am.. i was thinking how sad it is to wake up so so early for everyday of the week.. cause i had to go to sch yest as well.. so i decided to do some of my own travelling.. which will happen soon.. sorry to yingwei cause she's there at the student lounge liao.. i shud b there to welcome here if i haf gotten up early but i just cudnt do it this morning..
i've got lotsa lotsa work to do by tmr.. dunnoe how i'll manage that but i'll either die or die trying rite? haaa
i had such a good sleep today.. i cant believe it

must haf been the length of sleep
and all the alcohol i've downed yesterday
a glass of something.. haa think it's gin n tonic not too sure
and q abit of beer..
cause i met up w my pri sch frens! one of the 3 musketeers had his birthday party last nite.. he kinda booked the club CUBE for his party and it was q a nice place
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONGSHENG!
haa and the other 2 were ken aka poh-bia ( whom i fought w at the bk of the sch canteen donkey years ago) and wenhui who sat in front of mi in p6 haa
i hafnt seen ken face-to-face since p6 actually.. but i kinda "met" him at jay's concert and at raffles place mrt years ago i wasnt sure and he was too far away but when i msged him, he confirmed tt it was him la..
and wenhui the last time i saw him was aft As on a bus to tuition..
wah how time flies... these are the pple i've known since 9.. although many of them i rarely see.. but i tried to keep in touch w them all.
listening to their army stories.. abt life next time.. aspirations and uncertainties and stories of my medsch.. haaa we just sat ard and chatted and drank.. thnx guys for buying the beer :)

the birthday boy is kinda like a parttime model so there were model-material kinda guys and girls at his party haa tt was q cool.. but he's a really nice and softspoken guy.. when he starts talking it's exactly as he was bk in pri sch :) and think he told mi he really enjoyed his relief teaching stint post As also.. his slideshow of his life so far was nice too..

hope all of us do well in our lives.. somehow no matter where we are :)

and i always only know tt i haf too much to drink when i stand up to go to the loo.. that was when all the unsteadiness sets in and n i gotta hold on to stuff abit in the toilet.. n i met serene another pri sch fren as well.. and she looked just the same haa :)
luckily my dad came to pick mi up and i vaguely rem hafing abit of prob walking home.. esp in those heels of mine.
but the sleep was good
i've better get going cause a long long day awaits me!

:) hope this's a nice sunday~!

today is q a sad day for mi.. cause of all those kidos i meet in cubicle one..
my fav girl went home in the afternoon.. i like the way she wan2 play w me even though she doesnt speak to me..
how she ll touch mi w a pen to get mi to draw w her
how she ll offer mi a cube to play w her
how she likes to read my abc book everyday
how she ll cling onto my shoulder while standing when i sit on the side of her cot
how her pretty eyes stop crying once we come by to hello hello her..
i'm glad she can finally go home haha i actually told her mum,"cya again" before correcting myself and telling her that i dun wan to see her again in the hospital! she say yea mayb we'll see each other some other place some other time..
so i hope my fav girl has got her gastrits cleared up and well!

then there's my fav boy1 in pink..
he's such a good and polite boy, visiting his older sis who's sick.. we kinda first met outside the ward when he was wondering ard and i offered him mr incredible stickers which he really liked! and then i found out tt he's the bro of another kid.. but he got warded today.. think he must haf caught gastritis somewhere frm the wards.. poor kid.. :( get well sooN!

my fav boy 2 came in yest..
aww he's got the cutest smile i've ever seen..
very friendly very easily tickled and smiles beautifully... ll grow up to b a yandao boy haaa
but he's kinda going off to another home after discharge..he's mum mentioned something abt foster family to me.. i dunnoe the details.. but i hope he finds a good family and grows up well.. i'll visit him again tmr!
i told xunyu abt him when we had BS tonight and she prayed for him. i kinda prayed too.. hmm not exactly cause i dunnoe how and i've never done it before but oh well it's just saying out loud to someone out there what i wish the boy can find in his future and grow up strong n healthy.. i not sure how i feel aft that.. but i really hope good things ll happen to my fav boy2.. mayb i feel kinda relief tt there might be someone out there who can really have the means to help him?
anyway.

then i finally gotta clerk another boyboy's mum..
mi n hc both felt kinda sad after we talk to her.. kids w CP are tough to bring up i guess and u can see how much mummy's love u need to take care of the boy.. u'll feel how noble mummy is.
the boy is a good boy too. altho we cant really communicate but i can feel it.. he's relaxed in our presence and didnt throw any tantrums etc..
hope he can go home soon

then there's my 3 cute abangs! w their tiny sis
and their high5s aft they played in the playground felt sticky and sandy..
wonder wat they touched before smacking my hand haaaa
but aww 3 guai boys! :D
kinda didnt noe how to handle squirmy baby sis altho i tried to examine her and did 1/2 a DA cause she's kinda caught up and busy w the packet of twistees..
but haaaa

love playing w these kidos but i'm so shag so tired tt many pple enquired abt my darkeye rings and some thought i look pale and unwell..
think it's something to do w chronic fatigue..
never felt so tired for so long..
sometimes i just wanna sleep.. u know refuse to do anything else except for climbing into mi nice warm bed and puling the blanket over myself and closing my eyes and hope tt i dont haf to open them so soon.. an ave of 5hrs i kinda enuff to sustain the day but 3 wks of these kinda manifest as visibly fatigue symptoms haaa

wonder how weak and wasted i'll be reduced to by x'mas..

went out on wed w gang for a nice dinner and a nice cuppa coffee
didnt care even though i had a quiz on thu.. which luckily got postponed.. altho we miss my first big screen adult film but it's ok haa
i had a great time..
sitting on the bus down frm gleneagles to cine.. thnx iris for sending us..
i saw the x'mas lighting for the first time!!
i liked it this year.. lotsa gold.. gold stuff gold trees gold things hanging above the roads.. altho ser says it's abit boring and needed other colours.. but i liked it.. think the deco this year ll b good.. :)
i sat in the bus and peered thru the glass window macam like a tourist heh
mayb i'm deprived of such dazzling lights, glamour and festivity due to shuffling btw nuh nus lib home dayindayout.. i actually felt happy and excited by the deco... and felt like a kido haha

we also met maria for dinner cause she's flying bk to UK on monday... it's been a pleasure knowing her.. she's such a nice kind gal.. :) i'll always rem our long lunches dicussing abt cross-cultural stuff like differences in food weather and pple etc.. hope we'll meet again, some how somewhere sometime in the future

and visited mr zrj today also haaa (sorry the laugh mayb inappropriate or unkind) but q interesting to see ur classmate on the other side of the cotside.. i cud picture in my head him going behind the nurses counter, taking the continuation sheet, and go ard clerking all the ortho patients, esp his neighbours.. in his patient's attire hahaaa
hope he doesnt antagonise the nurses more.. heh get well soon ya!!

my saturday has started and very soon monday ll be here
*shivers down my spine*

http://www.nataliedee.com/032703/sleepy.jpg

haha i think this pix is really cute

actually i dont feel sleepy.. just feel abit jittery abt tmr and the many more days to come..

i MUST NOT feel sleepy..

my fave line of the wk is

"even if i dont sleep for the next 20yrs, i'll not be able to finish reading wat i wan2 read"

well,

read abt SMA syndrome, it's actually rather interesting..

阿牛 哭
曲 : 阿牛 词 : 阿牛
以前我看到朋友哭 我很羡慕
可是我怎麽逗我自己 怎麽弄我自己
我的眼泪都流不出

总觉得能够哭的朋友 都很幸福
能够把满腔的无耐 满腔的痛苦
让泪水带走

#最苦是泪水在哽在心头 流不出
就像要爱却不懂得怎麽去爱
自己哭过後才明白
流过泪的眼睛 将生命看得更清楚

@只有真正懂得付出的人
才懂得何为哭 为何哭
再坚强的心偶尔也会脆弱
心会痛 心也会感动
只有曾经真心付出的人
才懂得何为哭 为何哭
泪水要记得为真心保留
眼泪别白白的流# @

Heard this song over the radio just now.. used to like it q a lot but cant seem to find it on youtube.. found the other ah-niu song tt I like last time too haahaa

heard this song over the radio just now.. :)

i just woke up from a 2hr nap and my head is feeling really heavy and painful
my infected swollen right eye didnt seem to be better and it's killing me.. who to blame but myself for sleeping w the contacts on?? haizz shit la and i'm particularly fotosensitive i think cause the drops have pupil dilatory effects.

today i had a possibly last tuition session w my tutees.. haha end up food (as usual) stickers and balloons.. :p good luck guys! the next 3 days ll be ur big big day and then v soon it'll all b over!
cant imagine sunday morning w/o them after so many years hor..
but well this mayb my last tuition stint so feeling all nostalgic abt it... a job i haf held on since jan 2004.. 3 whole years and all those students i haf had..
hope i haf helped in some way la..

this week i haf been utterly stressed and tired and i haf never felt so tired in my life i think
my hiding in the library saw mi sleeping q abit towards the end of the week which is no good. better buck up soon! but the quietness and solitude is rather enjoyable i must say haa.. helps me get away frm tv and hopefully excessive sleep..

the wk in paeds i feel kinda sad for alot of kids seeing them suffer lidat and cant help but feel so lucky to grow up as a healthy child w not much restriction and had all the fun i cud possibly had in my childhood.. i always thot i wud b the kinda mum to allow kids do watever they wan in mean as so long as it's not too dangerous and my own definition of dangerous is kinda lax so they shud usually get wat they wan. e.g. cycling is definitely a must learn i think. budden at the spina bifida clinic on sat saw this pretty young girl who neurogenic bladder and had to do CIC for the rest of her life just because of a bicycle accident.. then suddenly i felt tt i cud so see it frm an overprotective mummy's POV.. it scares me to see how easily accident can occur and coming frm me, who's someone who never ever heeds my mum's safety advice i think it meant alot to me. then when i told my mama she because the openminded one.. abt how we all had accidents and survived w/o any injury.. she believes tt it's all fate and life. and she suddenly started to sound like me.. trying to wriggle my way out of my mum's tightly clenched fist.. and telling her tt even if i stay near home.. just walking along the road i might get run down by a car anytime.. so y not let me go out there and experience all i wan? haha

i feel much better already
few more hours to monday the start of week 3, the start of my stress and fatigue.. y are wkends always so short?

oh congrats to all who's involved in play house this year.. i watched our play and it was fantastic! really entertaining and funny and it induced laughter frm the audience really frequently.. good job guys! u all deserve to win!!

revelation: i always thought both my brothers are very different in character. as different as it can get. but today it became so damn obvious.. underlying their differences.. there's this particular SAME trait. mayb tt's why at the end of the day.. i might be the one different from the both of them in this aspect. although i've always been sure i'm like both of them in some other aspects.
wtf.. i'm not making sense.. i'm to myself only. but maybe because it's the FUCKING wee hrs of the morning and i never can seem to finish the work i set out to do and looks like i wont be getting much sleep 2night.
some things just gets to me without fail.
different context, same situation, same rxn.

wat a fantastic way to start november
without non-Hodgkin's lymphoma :) and Keanu :(

because of the pumpkin i came across these timelapse videos.. oh i really love them!
and clouds.. my fav stuff in the sky..
i like the way the shadows are cast on the city, it's cool and amazing
and the silence of the clip makes mi hold my breath - think: breath-holding attacks by kids.

there are the
1) blue variety: frustration leads to tears and holding the breath in expiration at the end of a wail fo rage. all childrean grow out of it before age of 5 years.
2) white variety: precipitated by pain or shock rather than frustration. child slumps to the floor, pale and not breathing. a seizure may follow secondary to cerebral hypoxia (reflex anoxic seizures). later in childhood, these children are prone to faints.

wat an apt video to be putting up on halloween.

this is kinda like life and death. i can so see it a person, wilting and dying away.. so it's kinda sad.

but maybe it's not so sad afterall because halloween is a time where the spiritual world makes contact with the physical one, and where magic is most potent. so u might be able to meet ur dead loved ones, isnt it? sounds kinda like Charmed.

The Rose - Bette Midler
this song kinda popped into my head this evening.. :) i like it q alot.

ok.. i know i should stop this but i guess this incident needs documentation
i took a nap this afternoon and woke up frm a vivid nightmare but oh well tt's nothing..
BUT i kinda found myself covered w lotsa insect bites! i think they look like mosquito bites.. i counted a grand total of 37! dammit
found on my face, the angle of my jaw.. my whole neck (both the anterior and post triangle, some along the SCM) my upper chest wall and my upperlimbs..
wtf
i'm so interested to see wat else can happen to mi
but well i think a turtle neck ll be good for sch tmr but it's too bloodly warm in S'pore for tt.. so this red papular obvious skin lesions ll b up for everyone to see i guess.
very well. fantastic.

didnt i hope that today will be a good day yesterday?
i guess it didnt work out q the way i wanted..
well the day started w mi waking up w a hoarse voice.. but i kinda got it bk more or less.. and my busy day started w the well-baby clinic, then moving on to NUH to clerk a girl for tutorial then to the last bit of my lit review meeting..
everything was fine until i was typing this really long email to my chp group but just before i sent it.. i dunnoe wat i pressed on sy's laptop and the whole page was gone and the whole email was gone. pui. now i gotta go write another one..

never mind.. then the day went on w mi at novena buying 1 inch cubes and going to tpy to help at the public health screening.. lala and dinner w a couple of meddies all went on fine.. until i set out on my journey home..

i tried walking to a place i thought was the bus stop.. but it turned out to b the taxi stand then i walk bk where i came frm to the bus stop but i didnt have my bus.. so due to my poor sense of direction.. (as usual) i walked up and down teh same street 3 times.. cause i gotta walk bk beyond where the taxi stand was to the road perpendicular to where i was...
when i finally got to the correct busstop.. i thought tt ll b the end of my bad day but i was WRONG.
because i was looking forward to some quiet time home at the upperdeck of bus 88 alone w/o ah tan.. to think abt stuff and mayb read.. and try not to think abt ahtan's halloween party at zouk and alcohol. but lo and behold.. there came a small single decker bus tt was kinda packed..
so i resigned to the fact tt i'll haf to stand for an hour's journey home.. and got on the bus
then to my HORROR.. my ezlink card wasnt in my wallet.. because i took it out earlier to sign in for PHS and i kinda chucked it into the abyss of my gigantic bag..
and there i was clinging on the the taptap machine for my dear life on a bumpy bus.. trying to search for the ezlink card in the abyss of my gigantic bag under terribly dim lighting and all the time entertaining the thought of being thrown off the bus if i cant find the card to pay for my ride (well i cud use coins but it didnt occur to mi then) just as i was abt to b more frustrated w myself.. my fingertips brushed against tt thin piece of plastic and managed to save my ass..

so i "tee-ed" and moved in..
then my gigantic bag tt had an abyss kinda bang into this auntie's head.. she was seating behind where i was standing u see.. and i turned to apologize and she just glared at mi as if i did her some grave wrong in our past life.. so oh well "I'M SORRY"

and then there were seats freed up in front of mi and there was an excited elderly couple bent to get the seat.. i wasnt going to fight w them but in her excitement the auntie stepped on my left foot and the uncle kinda swiped he hand across my whole butt.. haiz wat's w my butt and old men's hand, i wonder? since it was probably accidental, i didnt grab him by the collar and didnt crash his balding head into the glass window but oh well.

then the long ride went on.. until i came home. feeling sicker by the minute.

ok.. i'm putting an end to this pathetic bad habit of recounting tiny bits of unimpt stuff tt led mi wallow in self-pity. all this bad vibes coming form the last few posts feels abit lame.. i might roll my eyes silently in my heart if someone comes up to mi complaining abt those complains i made.

so this has gotta stop and in an attempt to do so.. i shall try to recall positive things.
today i saw 3 babies.. 3, 5, 10mth old ones.. they're the cutest things.. and DA made alot more sense now aft Dr Amin went thru it w real life squirmy examples. there smiles and screams and tears tt stop ever so readily are q endearing.. so.. awwww..

and there was this auntie i especially rem helping her register for the PHS.. she kinda confided in mi abit more beyond those questions on the questionnaire i was adminstering and i thank her for that.. :) she made mi feel less robotic i guess.. and she smiles every so readily..

then there was this elderly indian lady on bus 88.. i kinda banged into her arm w my gigantic bag with an abyss but she just smiled and gave me the "it's ok, i understand look" (well mayb she wud haf reacted differently if i swiped her head w my bag) but it made mi feel less sian abt mi accidentally bumping into pple w my big bag. and she looked for mi immed aft the seat beside her freed up cause she knew i was carrying lotsa things.. she even smiled a goodbye before she left.. tt made mi happy for tt fleeting moment..

then there was ahtsui's attempt to buy mi dinner.. thnx man i appreciate ur kind thought.. altho it's abit puzzling but it's an act of kindness i guess :)

so enuff small good thngs tt happen right?

well i tried 2x to comfort my self-pitying sick soul/body today..
i got myself chocolate milk frm 7-11 downstairs of bukitmerah polyclinic..
cold choc milk calms mi down i think.. altho i wonder if it only started aft JC or it had been there all along

and on my way home.. in my last feeble attempt to comfort myself, i walked my fav route home..
it's abit longer than usual, this long str path along the road flanked with tall trees (tt had compound leaves). So when the wind blows and the dried leaves fall.. they form a pretty sight of small little yellow bits coming down frm above..
i liked this road best on an evening when the setting sun fliters thru the leaves..
at night.. it's kinda too dark to watch my pretty trees but i get to play w the shadows on the floor.. stepping in btw the lit-up holes where light came thru inbtw the branches tt cast shadows.
it was a still and quiet night.. and all i hear was my own foot steps and the sound of tires of cars driving past on the road.. few pple were on the road w mi.. and at times no one was.
i took a right turn and walked along rivervale pri sch.. i observed tt those ixora shrubs tt lined along the school fence had grown up q abit.. they used to b abt the level of my knee.. but now they're at the level of my elbow.. tt's q tall for ixora shrubs right? but giant bougainvilla shrubs never fail to impress mi as well.. haaha :)
i've watched them for almost 8 years.. since i moved here.
and i past by the bball court to reach my lift.. passing by 2 gps of pple playing bball at each half of the court.. as i walked thru the court thru the midline.. i was thinking to complete the suay-ness of it all mayb i bball might fly and hit my head frm behind or sumthing.. n i kinda got to the other side of the court just as i finished imagining the malu-ness of tt incident tt fortunately didnt happen.

and well a sucky thing happened again.. while i'm happily blogging.. i forgot to go tape the match btw Man U and Bolton for my erge. and i was 10min late at taping aft i realized it and when i on the tv.. walao rooney scored! haiz 10min into the game onli leh.. so i missed the goal but luckily manage to tape the replay of it. msg my bro to tell mi and thought he wud say "shit, cant trust u w anything" but luckily he only replied "sighz. ok lar" so he isnt tt pissed w mi. i hope.

okie i guess this is a progressively bad wk.. and next wk's schedule seemed damn hectic but i'll keep my fingers crossed for a better wk to come.
i might just lose this post trying to publish it.. to add to my sad little pathetic life.
but as my famous saying go.. if u think it's true then it is.. if u think it's not ture then it's not. this is as real as anything in this world can get i think. provided u r not delusional.

* see i knew it. this is the 2nd time i'm posting this post cause there were errors when i tried to post it the first time.. and if i didnt preempt myself and copy the whole bloody post up.. it'll all b gone and i'll slam my laptop shut and swear something under my breath. haiz.. it's abt 3 pages of a font size 12 times new roman on a word doc.

AHHHHHHHHHHH
my last line to my long post just now was hope nothing else bad happens to mi
but it just did a few seconds ago.. i just lost a damn long post.
so i'll have to leave out the details and summarize

bad things happen but i met nice kind pple la
1) cant feel the heptaosplenomeg in a young girl w ascites - on of my worse nightmares
2) the strap of my slipper came of
- so slipper became nonfunctional
- cant find anyone to borrow extra footwear
- tempted to steal OT's crocs lookalike
- an auntie and a young guy in red shirt helped mi fix the slipper temporarily altho i was left stranded and bare footed at the corridor near lift lobby 2 for dunnoe how long
- bought slippers at bazzar in the end
3) sneezing alot.. prob got frm kids due to my poor hand hygiene the first 2 days
4) friday's gone :( spent sleeping n studying in lib aft dinner
5) lost a long long post

i'm having a bad streak / a series of unfortunate events recently.. this gotta stop

my mum went ahead to get new frame for my specs in an attempt to revive it and i didnt participate in the purchase so wonder how it wud turn out.
haiz

wellbaby clinic, clerking, chp meeting, public health screening tmr
how to b at some many places at one time? i try la
fen1 shen1 shu4!!

今天就快結束了。
希望坏事不會在發生。
也不是說今天發生了很多坏事啦。
只是
1) 我快生病了。
2) 對圖書館理員有些不滿﹐卻忍氣吞聲﹐arrgh
3) 對家人也有些不耐煩
4) 跟了我6-7年的眼鏡今天終於expired - 断了。现在用胶带勉强还可以用。虽然有了新的眼镜但是还是不舍得把它扔掉。毕竟它跟了我这么多年。曾经掉在前往韩国的飞机上，5天的行程都靠隐形眼镜，到回国后才跟韩国的机场服务员联络上，顺利让它独自乘坐飞机回国，和我团聚。

哎呀，总之心情不好啦

today i talked to q a few gin-nas haha they are really q cute.. and there's those little ones that babbles only oohh~ man i better study hard so tt i can figure them out better.. kids make mi happy i guess.

and i donated bld. 345ml cant donate more cause she say my Hb 12 which is normal but not high enuff to donate more. hmm.. got free milo n biscuit n a free gv movie tix n Fe tablets.. woah but also a relatively big needle puncture mark.. it wasnt pain when they inserted the needle but prior to tt the needle with lignocain was abit pain sia..

lalala q fun :)

thnx 2 my 2 tudis for the bkmark frm taiwan..

well let mi just blog a quick one cause i really need to get some sleep to be all ready for my PAEDS posting tmr.. :)

tsktsk for coming home near 1am the day before school starts haaa but i had a lovely time tonight
started w Italian food at Spizza.. although i didnt get my well-deserved gratification of zooming past a long queue because i made a reservation, and they made me wait outside the restaurant while they cleared the table even aft a made a reservation.. it was fun eating there.
the appetiser w grilled veg, mozarella cheese wasnt really something i liked alot but it was fun listening serene introducing the ingredients used.. and the cheese was the best part of it i think. the pizza was good i must say.. the juicy mushroom.. hmmmmm :)
fel says we lack a good bottle of wine and all of us couldnt agree more..
ooh and the hazelhut hot chocolate from starbucks was good.. w the melting whipcream.. it brings in a warm fuzzy feeling into me.

and then there was the movie.. From Subway with love - a Czech Republic film, the 2nd last one from EUFF. it was a rather entertaining and funny movie and i enjoyed it..
the line tt i rem most: An ideal man is like a virus that invades a woman's rationality
haha :)
and i wondered wat Femigel that was used was.. a spermicide? or just a lubricant? do pple us lubricants lidat?.. i wonder. oh well haa

the love letter on a subway advertisement board and oliver's figure through the glass windows of his lit-up office reminded me of the mtv of Daniel Powter's Bad day, somehow.. and how laura loves oliver this 40yrold older man.. and we actually talked about our weird infatuation for charming older men/ profs from school haaa :)
oh fel i haf another example.. how i really like richard gere frm Pretty Woman :p men w greying hair haaa..

the happy ending of everyone finding love during Christmas is abit of a cliche but it still warms our hearts right? how the right people will meet each other on christmas. haa and so the saying goes. but it brought abit of a christmacy feeling into my heart...
i think it's a nice film for girls.
thnx ser crystal fel n fel's sis geraldine for a geat evening.
too bad peiyun cudnt join us.

the guy sitting beside me in the cinema is kinda like an uncle.. he wore a white tshirt and white berms and he was the first one to rushed out of the cinema as soon as the film ended.. and he came to watch the movie alone.. when ll i go for my first movie alone? i wonder.. i need to choose a correct therapeutic film for that special occasion i think :)

despite the snowy christmacy feeling i got frm the movie, i gotta clear pharmaco paeds chp cofm before christmas comes in 2mths.. lalala

there's still so many to-watch movie on my list.. if i'm lucky i might be going for my first big-screen R(21) show tmr haa let see how it goes.

at 12midnite i was standing at the roundabt near hougang mrt w serene waiting for my dad to come pick us up.. we talked abt the rain, the tree (the strategic tree) and perception~
the last min of my hols has ended.. i'm into the first hour of school!!

okie better go sleep.

this is what might be possibly better than alcohol on a friday night.. :)

last night when carol asked me what i did in the week i had so much trouble recalling.. maybe because i'm so tired trying to maximize my holidays that i cant really remember wat i did.. then i read ser's blog and suddenly it all came back..
haaa reading her blog at such an hour.. she's probably not awake yet but well i gotta jot this down because it's so impt n i dont wanna forget it

my week started w thurs when we met up at cedele for dinner.. where the sandwiches were pretty good and i love the ambience.. the nice warm yellow hue to the whole restaurant.. looking out frm the inside of wheelock place into the wet dark streets along orchard road that was standing in the drizzle.. the rain kept the crowd away and we had a good time.. laughing over the slightest silly things and just enjoying each other's company..
then there were the nostalgic bus 88 ride and ser's post of our conversation..
thnx for triggering the little memory at the back of my head.. those interesting conversations we always have.. so spontaneous yet so cheem at times..
reminising abt the upper deck first seat of the bus.. and taking goofy pix.. i'll post them soon.
passing by ur home and asking for a cup of tea.. wonder if we would still be able to do that many years from now yea?
and friday saw us checking out vivocity shopping for clothes to keep u nice chic and warm.. us giving up alcohol for a cup of coffee bean and cakes.. :) how we engage in long coversations abt geminis and how we both wanted to be abit more like the other
yea it's good to have pple that have known u for sooo long and mayb know u more than u know urself right?
and our dinner at jap restaurant.. it never fails to bring a smile to my face when u quote and unquote all our conversations.. haaa we are q funny pple ya and py's catching up!!
"because i had Wil*eyes.. tt's y u like me" hahaa
cant wait for EUFF subway w love, on sunday w u guys!

brrr.. waking up to such a cold morning.. with an aching back is q a hard task..
i took so long to get up from underneath my nice and warm blanket.. how i wish i cud stay in there in such a weather for a much longer time
but no i cant.. i gotta wait till 9+ to call my cofm patient cause she bangseh mi yest
i feel sorry towards weifeng n py for going down w mi just to find tt my patient was not in.. sorry abt tt.. but she really told mi she wud b home when i called earlier in the week.. well i could have called yest morning to check but it just didnt occur to me.. bukit batok leh.. do u noe how far it is frm my house...... hahahaa
nvm hope we can do the visit today before rhuemato tutorial at AH

aft parting w py n weifeng and ended up at bugis area.. i went to check out books at YN and popular and went to shop ard raffles city n citylink myself... and bought 2 new tops! yay muahaha

then i met up w my dear judo girls.. aww i miss them..
dinner at the HK place at marina was interesting.. i had sweet n sour chicken spagetti.. not fantastic but interesting enuff.. and had a yuanyang... altho i'm no coffee drinker and it had a rather strong coffee taste but i cud still taste the tea beneath it all and thus it might be a good drink for me to start learning how to tolerate coffee haaa
then there was the giant icekachang which we ate but it toppled 1/2 way resulting in a couple of screams frm us followed by 1sec of pindrop silence from the whole restaurant hahahah it was really really funny
then spontaneously we suggesting ktv.. and found out tt kbox had LADIES NITE w no cover charge.. wat better deal for an outing of 7 LADIES right haaa
so frm 8-11 was singing singing singing non stop!!
aww i miss singing w them
it's always so fun.. a good mix of jaychou by mi carol beng and liangjingru+sunyanzi by the smallones oldies songs like dang ai cha shen er guo n zhengzhongji's songs haaaaa and of course attempted F.I.R and slaughtered a thousand chickens.. of course the damn funny songs like calcutta taxitaxi, say my name etc oh my.. where we laughed damn alot.. altho there was no dancing on the sofa or stage but we had fun i guess..
because we have known each other for so long.. we could totally let loose and do stupid things.. i no need to paiseh to control myself so haha it was therapeutic i must say.. singing my heart out into the mic.. altho i cant sing v well haa dont care already la.. lalala

by the time i'm home.. i was really tired and now i feel like nua-ing in my bed a little longer..
just a little while more haaa :)

CG1 with 2 of our exchange students - susan and maria

nice meeting u guys.. hope our dinner b4 u guys leave ll work out ya..

all the best!

my dear CG1..

last friday was the last day we'll be together as a CG haha nice getting to know u guys better throughout these 16wks of med and surg posting!

peiyun me yingci tohhan renjun weechuan weifeng jonathan!

it was really enjoyable learning w u guys ya.. :)

and this foto was taken outside ward 43 along the corridor to the paeds ward.. it must be a sign cause i'm returning to NUH for 4wks of paeds posting haa..

take care peeps.. i have so much memories of u guys.. from AH until NUH.. it had been fun :)

me and zhang-ge.. my fellow gang leader :)

haha renjun.. i think he brought alot of joy and laughter to our CG.. tutorials were never boring if he was around.. w comments such as dds and the "zhap" of the stomach
despite wat our tutors say.. i think his way of approaching patients is nice and friendly and i'm sure patients ll like docs tt are so friendly.. so hang in there for a while more than aft becoming a doc u can "HELLO" the patients all u wan! :)

yea nice knowing u altho the first thing u ever said to me in med sch wasnt so nice right? right? haha

me and jinxi

once i approach her w my camera she got reminded of my self-shots foto taking skills that were displayed in japan haha :)

me and wenhann!

green shirt green tie ?green pants haha :)

AGAIN! me yingci tohhan

me and my fellow CG mates!

me and dennis (from OMG) again :)

and we wonder whose nice, smackable butt this belongs to?

totally irresistable to me n yingci.

clue:

wenhann :)

me and bingzhu

who gives 10points for a good joke and taught us the correct pronunciation of WON* PO* SIN*

haha XD

me and charles

pix taken on thursday where he declared that it was the last dAy of posting

nice knowing u.. :)

me py and tohhan in the MO room!!

ll miss the times mi and tohhan like to crap and say disgusting stuff today haha :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MO!

this pix is of mi and mo taken of her birthday morning.. :)

last week of posting.. i'll miss u and everyone else..

well this is mi.. during one of my night calls at nuh.. surg calls q different from med calls in AH, less hectic i guess.. really depend on the kinda patients that come in that night.. but all 4 of my calls were too exciting.. haa this is me in the MO room.. lalala

oh n the foto below is a pair of shoes that lasted only 1/2 a posting before it became q nua.. the first day i wore it.. i lost a ribbon so i took off the other one for symmetry but it didnt last long is guess.. carol says it's gross i post fotos of such nua shoes haaa.. yea usu before i throw away the shoes i have a habit of taking pix for memory sake.. mayb next time i shud take immediately after i buy it when it still looks brand new! hahaa

i have been procrastinating on foto posting.. damn tired today letmi see how mani fotos i can get up.. :)

 

my shoes frm med posting.. they are really nice and cofmy and airy so tt wont become chou haa
and fidah and sara really liked them.. always threatening to rob them from me.. :)
then the sole became so out of friction that i kept falling down with them... in nuh the 4th floor connection btw nuh and krw.. i always fall down.. once in front of my MO in urology and i think since then he always go that um-chio face when he sees me.. not sure if i'm just paranoid. but well it's gone now since i've chucked it 

this is a pix i took this afternoon.. the haze is blurring out the buildings frm punggol

this was a pix frm my bedroom window that i took sometime at the beginning of the posting.. one afternoon w imminent rain.. dark scary clouds.. possbily cumulonimbus 

well i think i've got lotsa stuff to do this afternoon.. but i'm feeling abit slack and unmotivated.. this is no good. :(

btw this couple of days i've been going out q alot.. mayb too much so i am actually feeling a little bit tired right now.. the haze is irritating my eyes i think.. whenever i look out of my window but it's surprisingly windy.. more windy than usual.

oh on friday i told ser abt meeting a stranger-friend at a bus stop.. he msged again yest but i was wondering if i should reply.. there is always this part of me that like to make new friends but there's also a part of me who's fully aware that watever he told me about himself might not be true and i really should be wary. even though i didnt lie abt anything. haiz but q sian abt it all... although i will seem to appear quite insincere about knowing this new stranger-friend right. oh well.

then there was my ah-ma's 65th birthday celebration at downtown east sakura international buffet.. ate damn alot that night.. :p but it was good catching up w my cousins.. especially HEAL and our fototaking habits die hard.
although i could answer the million-dollar-qn of the night easily.. i have to give 20points to angel for her qian bian wen da ti!

Q: why did dou (bean) go to jail?
A: Dou sha bao

*somebody! stab me.. * muahaha

all my dear relatives i dont get to see so often.. because everyone's busy w their down lives... but well CNY ll be here soon.. there's a teochew saying my mama just taught me recently and a direct translation ll be

the month is afraid of the 15th
the new year is afraid of mid autumn fest.

because once the 15th of the mth is over, the month ll be coming to an end really soon
and once the MAF is over, the new year ll be here really soon :)

then there was the rushing btw vivocity and marina on sunday to catch brothers from the euro film fest. jap food at marina was pretty good..
the film i must agree w serene that i'm not really sure y it's called brothers cause i think the main focus of the movie wasnt so much of the relationship btw michael and jannik.
i like the way there are many closeup shots of the people.. the lips when the couple kissed, the hands of the dad at his son's 'funeral', the eyes lit up by the bit of sun coming in when the soldier was held in captive.. i hafnt really watched any movie that brought me so close to stare at something.. and i think it's a rather sad and depressing show depicting how a nice happy family man was completely changed after he have to club a fellow armyguy to death in order to stay alive.. just moments after he hugged the teary man to reassure him that both of them ll get out alive. will i have done the same i wonder? or will i have insisted on not killing a stranger-friend and end up getting killed myself, and never be able to see my family again? i dont know and i hope that i never have to know.

then there was our jap food date w S.. thnx for the treat.. the food was nice:)
looking at her getting round on a wheelchair is amazing.. but at the same time it's frustrating when she keeps on insisting on giving up on her treatment and we have no way to help her if she is not willing to help herself.. she may be right that we all ultimately die.. so she doesnt wan to go 4 dialysis anymore she doesnt wan2 take her medicine anymore..
i dunnoe la.. like wat py say.. we cant argue w her if she doesnt wan2 change her mindset..
i dunnoe how.
sometimes u wan 2 help but u feel inadequate and helpless in a different way rite?

i better get the fotos up soon
hafnt taken pix in a long time.. so glad to have fotos.. of my cg and my family and just stuff in general..
py always disapproves of my excessive fototaking enthusiasm but oh well.. i really hafnt been taking pix for the past many mths.. and i'll regret it i think when i'm old and wrinkly and my memory start to fail me.. although i'm v troublesome.. but thnx to pple who are welling to accomodate me and spend time letting me take pix w them la haaa
lalala

piano again tonite.. better go practice

my last day of surgery have been interesting..
well the TMAC i was previously talking abt was done on a lady w funating phyllodes sarcoma.. nothing i have seen before.

today.. was q a slack day, because it was the last day already and we prettly much had nothing to do.. however i got rejected by 3 patients today.. 2 just didnt reply me and the other got irritated half way into the hx taking.. :( so i was q sad la
we've got a cg foto finally yay! i'll miss them.. everyone in cg1..
haaa
and the xchange students maria and susan.. they're really nice pple too
then i got to watch ERCP and EUS which was q an eyeopener.. the doc in there was a rather nice guy
and i got to fulfil my wish of sitting at the swing outside the paeds ward.. q paiseh cause got some parents just stare at mi.. but i've always wanted to do it u see..
so yay..
and then i went to check out vivo city w serene
shopped for winter wear for her trip to spain
bought a new pair of shoes
n ate macs followed by coffee bean
we r becoming more healthy as we abandoned our alcohol for coffee and cakes!! haha
then my dad came to pick us up w an almost empty tank and we had problems finding a kiosk.. he made me drive and w the impending doom of finishing the tank of oil n possibly having to push the car/.. i finally found the kiosk muahaha and never haf i been so happy in my life to say full tank pls..
ohwell i've got lots to write but i need sleep n cant concentrate liao..
gotta go slp

i feel asleep yest while i was waiting for this to load..
yest being the 2nd last day of my m3 surgery posting.. it was q exciting.. i watched a TMAC and TRAM flap being done.. the TRAM flap was absolutely ingenious, v exciting
and i put in the first 1.5 stitches of my life..
woah! thnx dr bryan.. he actually let us scrub in just to stitch :D
the human skin and subcutaneous tissue is different frm the synthetic pad.. much softer and easier to poke through
and yes Dr S thinks we are german, too fair to b singaporeans.. what the?!?
the plastics and breast team are q funny.. saying leng xiao hua during OP tt's really not v good lor..
then was dinner w py and ahtan... where we laughed every so much..
and of course the nostalgic bus 88 ride home yea serene? the locations of the bus stops remained the same but the pple in there sitting right in front on the top deck had kinda been growing up issint it?

time to go sch.

oh my.. my new found acquaintance just asked mi to go watch movie aft we only spoke for 10min haaa
wah so happening.. this is so sec sch sia.. i really shud go read my Browse soon
why does he wan2 go out w a stranger? this is weird.. hmm

eh frens of mine better ask mi go watch movie w u all leh.. in case i kena tempted to watch movies w strangers right.. dangerous dangerous..
to fel n ser.. how which film frm the euro film fest r we going to catch? i'm looking forward to them..

ya n y do they always ask for ur # at the end? to keep in touch?
i dont get it..
hmm.. all this feels so "young"
i'm aging by the second sia

i've just spent an hr online emailing profs and docs to arrange for stuff
haizz being reps has alot of saikang involved sia.. but oh well i'm not exactly complaining alot
currently i speaking to a stranger on msn tt i kinda added by mistake.. and i suddenly realize i've not done this in a zillion years and have probably grown out of it.
mayb because i'm not so young n naive and interested in these unknown pple w/o faces
mayb cause i get to meet strangers everyday in the wards
mayb cause i just too tired to hold this conversations cause i got some much stuff to read up on and really should be spending my time more wisely
watever it is.. haiz

anyway thnx to tohhan's dad i took an alternative route home.. bus 86.. all the nostalgia from the good old school days b4 NEL started working
walking a diff way home proved to b q an enjoyable experience.. something out of routine
the streetlights lining TPE kinda lit up the expressway giving it a dusty feeling because of the haze.. it looked q pretty but dirty at the same time..
so i guess pretty and dirty/dusty can go well.. u noe giving it an old antique feeling to it all
like a fading foto or a piece of paper tt has turned yellow.. the night sky was lit up w this warm yellow hue as well

2 more days to end of surgery.
i'll write more another time

it's so early in the morning at 5+ and i woke up.. feeling so tired i think i cant move my aching back..
i just seemed like a few short moments ago that i kinda doze off in front of my com.. talking to a couple of frens on msn.
i feeling really tried today, mayb a shower now ll really help me start the day off.
i kinda became the gp leader of chp group.. getting a teeny weeny bit worried cause i know tt since young i never really made it 2 be a good leader.. or i kinda dont really wat it takes to b a good one in my own opinion la.. oh well we'll just see how it goes la.. i'll try
last 3 days into surg posting.. so many things to do next wk.. and i brand new cg new environment from then on.. wonder how it'll b like
now tt the surg test is over i feel tt i can breathe a little better but i've been sleeping on the breast chap too much this is no good. better buck up my fren.

happy birthday MO! sorrie i cant make it for ur thingy.. have loads of fun, go catch an R(A) movie or sumthing. (well i hafnt done tt yet)
to a fren i've known since sec1 right? been in the same class sec1,2 j1,2 and now..
an instant tearer, always doddling on my stuff w lotsa "ah min"s
thnx for making sch fun for mi k.. esp those allton-chasing days we used to have rite?
sitting together in the little corner in our container class room.. haaa
all the best la k.

ok think my eyes can open a bit wider now, that's a good sign!
ll b late if i dont move my butt..
haa to think i spelt w my laptop right front of my head.. n those days of the lion frm narnia growling into my face.. lalala

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday."

Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It' s been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him."I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said."What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was the thing I value most," Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. "Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life."A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes,! Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most...was...my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked."I need some time to spend with my son," he said. "Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

- got this thru a mail from wan tin... and somehow felt that the passage kinda spoke to me. :)